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Should I not invite my mother for my wedding day?

My mother betrayed me so many times in my life, I lost count. She hasn't been a decent mother to me or to my other siblings and has even lost custody of them when they were little.I have been through hell and back with her but have always let her back in to my life and gave her many chances when no one else did. This year it was different. She did something I can not see a way to forgive and forget. Two days before me and my husband got married in the courthouse, she lied to me she had cancer... A few weeks later, my husband and I finally were expecting a long awaited baby, she didn't even call to congratulate. She was beside my grandfather when I called them to tell them the news. He was ecstatic, but said that she didn't say anything and never even asks about me... NOW, I am having a big church ceremony in 3 months with the love of my life. I don't see the point of her being there. I don't even have a wish. She likes to drink and make a fool of herself. I don't want to worry about her on the biggest day of my life and maybe the happiest... On the other hand, I don't have a father either and am having anxiety about not having either parents on my wedding day. My closest family is my granddad and aunt who have been EVERYTHING to me my whole life. What would you do? Also She is not the type of level headed person you can sit down and talk with, she is schizophrenic and loves confrontations. I just want to find peace in my life and think of me and my future family first for a change.
Tonirs · 56-60, T Best Comment
Personally I wouldn't invite anyone to my wedding if I was going to be worried about how they would act. If she hasn't been there for you in other ways then why should she be a part of one of your biggest day of your life.. Get your grandad to walk you down the aisle. And have your aunt in place of your mother.. They are the most important people in your life. . Don't ruin your day by inviting anyone who might make you feel uncomfortable whether family or not.
Congratulations on the baby and on your special day.
It's your day. Remember that. You have whoever you want there to celebrate it with you.. X
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@Tonirs thank you Tonir. I guess it all comes down to being grateful for the people you do have in life and how they couldn't be happier to fulfill these roles.

SW-User
Have the Aunt and the grandfather take those roles and be happy
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@SW-User they're more then happy to do this...
SW-User
@Optimisticbird Good it's you and your husband's day do what makes you happy
Fernie · F
That woman is an angry, bitter,jealous woman...and VERY toxic! I strongly suggest you stay as far away from her as possible. She's not going to change...she'll poison your life. I had to do that to save my own life.
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
Cut my malignant narcissist mother out of my life better than a decade ago and I've been much happier since then 🤷‍♂️
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@Zaphod42 how many years did it take you to do this?
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@Optimisticbird I don't recall exactly when I did it, but I think I was about 30 at the time.
DrSunnyTheSkeptic · 26-30, M
If she has been bad to you then she has no place being with you on your happy day. Being a parent doesn't entitle one to respect and love, their actions do.
PrivatePeeks · 26-30, F
It's a tough call, but in the end it's your day- not hers. Why risk her ruining it?
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@PrivatePeeks exactly. thanks..
PrivatePeeks · 26-30, F
@Optimisticbird I had another thought. You could insist that she not drink and that she is chaperoned by a senior family member responsible for her behavior.
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@PrivatePeeks thats an idea I had as well . The people I asked to look over her are not willing. They just want to have a good time. I feel bad putting that responsibility on my granddad for an example because all he would do that evening is chaperon and worry.
4meAndyou · F
It is your wedding day. You must do what will make you happiest on your very special day. If there is a chance your mother will ruin your wedding, do not invite her.
maturedragon · 26-30, M
god that sound's like my gf's 'dad', I have it in quotes cause he is trans, but he's such a disgrace that I won't call him her, my gf is not inviting him to the wedding that's for sure
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@maturedragon I wont get into all of that but, if he was descent and a good father, why not? is it her choice not to invite? I would invite my mother if she was capable of not making a fool of herself
maturedragon · 26-30, M
@Optimisticbird because I feel like he would try to twist it to be on himself, and plus I did ask my gf as well, she said she doesn't want him and she is considering a restraining order on him
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@maturedragon oh ok. Well that's a whole different story... Do what will bring you peace and make it easier to sleep at night. I should take my own advice...lol
Spokeskitties75 · 46-50, M
That’s a simple... [u][i]NO[/i][/u]
lou502008 · 61-69, M
grandad and aunt up front. tell your mom she can sit in the back of the church
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
Invite her. Be the bigger person.
Spokeskitties75 · 46-50, M
But then she won’t fit in the dress!!! 🙄@hippyjoe1955
Optimisticbird · 26-30, F
@hippyjoe1955 I would do this if only she wasn't so crazy to make scenes every she goes. She drinks,yells and argues with strangers. I don't want her to mess up this day for me.
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
@Optimisticbird I understand.
Penny · 46-50, F
i'd invite her for convention's sake if nothing else.
fuck her, nobody likes her

 
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