How do you deal with envy? And for what reasons do you feel that way? What is it that they have that makes you feel that way?
How do you not let it turn into deeper, uglier things and thoughts?
SW-User
I've said before how weird I am, but I can't remember the last time I felt envious or jealous. Everyone has their own life and paths so looking at other's and trying to apply that to yourself doesn't work.
There is no template of how someone should live because everyone's family, love, ideal of success, etc looks different. Because we all experience similar things doesn't mean we'll handle or react to it the same. I'm one of those who believe in a person being a individual. When you ignore that supposed checklist for life you'll see so much disappear.
While you're talking to yourself and getting to know yourself ask yourself try to examine what pressures you've placed on yourself. The expectations you want for yourself not what others have placed on you. Or if you remove the goals or 'way to live' from your thought process what is it you desire?
There is no template of how someone should live because everyone's family, love, ideal of success, etc looks different. Because we all experience similar things doesn't mean we'll handle or react to it the same. I'm one of those who believe in a person being a individual. When you ignore that supposed checklist for life you'll see so much disappear.
While you're talking to yourself and getting to know yourself ask yourself try to examine what pressures you've placed on yourself. The expectations you want for yourself not what others have placed on you. Or if you remove the goals or 'way to live' from your thought process what is it you desire?
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
BiasForAction · M
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@BiasForAction I sincerely hope there is no sarcasm in there.
BiasForAction · M
@Casheyane rest assured—a sincere response
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I isolate, avoid people who might trigger it.
I feel that way because I haven't been really happy for a long time and don't know how to change it.
Spending time with someone like that feels like being starved and watching someone stuffing themselves with all kinds of foods without being able to eat myself.
I feel that way because I haven't been really happy for a long time and don't know how to change it.
Spending time with someone like that feels like being starved and watching someone stuffing themselves with all kinds of foods without being able to eat myself.
OogieBoogie · F
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OogieBoogie · F
@Casheyane I don't find jealousy hard to talk about at all . I openly admit to people if I feel envious of something they have achieved or whatever .
I accept my feelings, but then I let them go .
Searching for values about oneself from without is, I don't think, the what way to know oneself. Especially this way : you are focusing on what you don't have, as opposed to what you do .
Also, jealousy is different from envy .
I think what you're talking about is envy.
Jealousy is when you are afraid someone will take something from you (say- a husband, or a position at work).
Envy is when you want what others have.
Dwelling on why you envy what others have and you don't isn't complex - you think it's desirable.
The thing is, is that it's all surface stuff .
It seems desirable, but is it ?
Someone may have a nice house, or happy family or whatever ....but there's a lot going on underneath to not only achieve that ...but keep it .
Everything has a price .
Are you willing, (or able), to pay that price or make that sacrifice?
And just coz they have something, doesn't mean that something is perfect for you.
You build on what you have. You find your own desires, your own wants, in your own abilities and priorities .
There is an all important process to growth:
You can't jump the gun. You have to take steps to build the path to your achievements.
And that's not including all the unforeseen stuff like opportunity ....who you know ....where you live ...culture .
It's very complex .
It's all well and good to want something, but focusing on the envy isn't going to get you anywhere but sad or mad.🤷
I accept my feelings, but then I let them go .
Searching for values about oneself from without is, I don't think, the what way to know oneself. Especially this way : you are focusing on what you don't have, as opposed to what you do .
Also, jealousy is different from envy .
I think what you're talking about is envy.
Jealousy is when you are afraid someone will take something from you (say- a husband, or a position at work).
Envy is when you want what others have.
Dwelling on why you envy what others have and you don't isn't complex - you think it's desirable.
The thing is, is that it's all surface stuff .
It seems desirable, but is it ?
Someone may have a nice house, or happy family or whatever ....but there's a lot going on underneath to not only achieve that ...but keep it .
Everything has a price .
Are you willing, (or able), to pay that price or make that sacrifice?
And just coz they have something, doesn't mean that something is perfect for you.
You build on what you have. You find your own desires, your own wants, in your own abilities and priorities .
There is an all important process to growth:
You can't jump the gun. You have to take steps to build the path to your achievements.
And that's not including all the unforeseen stuff like opportunity ....who you know ....where you live ...culture .
It's very complex .
It's all well and good to want something, but focusing on the envy isn't going to get you anywhere but sad or mad.🤷
OogieBoogie · F
@Casheyane o used to think they meant the same thing .
But someone corrected me on it a while back .
I can't believe that I've been using the word jealousy wrong for like 30 years 😂
But someone corrected me on it a while back .
I can't believe that I've been using the word jealousy wrong for like 30 years 😂
bijouxbroussard · F
The only way is by seeing it for what it is, illogical.
If it’s something they have that you wish you had, work on getting your own. If it’s something that you can’t get (like the way they look or their partner) work on being satisfied with what you do have or can get.
Counseling helps (I’ve done this). Ultimately envy only hurts the envious. 🥺
If it’s something they have that you wish you had, work on getting your own. If it’s something that you can’t get (like the way they look or their partner) work on being satisfied with what you do have or can get.
Counseling helps (I’ve done this). Ultimately envy only hurts the envious. 🥺
OogieBoogie · F
@bijouxbroussard precisely .👍
SW-User
I know I have it good so I don't envy others
durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M
My envy is not being born a girl, there is nothing I can do, I try to ignore it once I realize it has entered my thoughts.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@NativePortlander1970 Why do you feel that way if I may ask?
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