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I am so confused with my sexuality right now.

Just had a sexual encounter last night with a man and I didn't like it one bit. He hurt me during sex, he wasn't gentle at all. The whole time, I wanted him to hurry up and finish so I can not be around him anymore. After he was finished, I didn't say a word and escorted him out of the home. I was in a not-feeling-it-at-all kind of mood. Just thinking about last night really blows my mood now.
This whole thing made me think about my sexuality and wonder if I really am pansexual. I was thinking that maybe I could only date men and date and have sex with women, but as I thought deeper onto that, I had a gut feeling that I won't get any arousal if I had sex with anyone in general. So, asexuality came to mind. Something told me that I'm not asexual and that maybe sex will only feel good if I have a real good connection with someone or my future lover, given that all my previous sexual encounters with men always end up with them finishing, but never me because it doesn't feel good. Usually, it'll feel like gentle strokes, nothing arousing, but then my last encounter happened and I don't want to do it anymore.

Then I remembered, 'pansexuality' means that you don't care who you want as your lover. This is going to be a really long journey...
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RimaFun · 18-21, F
I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience. Maybe it was just the way you were having sex? Like for me I'm the opposite I need the man to be rough with me for me to orgasm if he goes slow and gentle it's harder for me to orgasm
RimaFun · 18-21, F
@Strict4u oh yes Haha I learned pretty quick regular sex got boring and needed to spice things up!
Strict4u · 56-60, M
@RimaFun you sound like a amazing girl to be around
Xalvadora · 22-25, F
@RimaFun No... We tried on my back, dogglestyle where I was supported by my arms, knees, legs, and elbows, bending over while standing, doggystyle with one of my legs propped higher than the other... I don't know if he was too big or if he was just too rough. I prefer sex when it starts off slow then speed up.
Strict4u · 56-60, M
Sounds like you had sex with a guy that is selfish and don’t think about the other person sex is supposed to be enjoyable by both you just need a man that knows how to treat a woman
Strict4u · 56-60, M
@RimaFun different girls like different things that’s why a guy should find out so he can really please her
Xalvadora · 22-25, F
@Strict4u The thing is, I've tried, but I think I'm one of those people who need an actual connection with the person. There's no connection if both parties haven't hung out as friends or got to know each other better.
I find this whole thing funny; it seems that I can only get aroused by watching porn. But if I used that as a way to get aroused seconds before the penis is inserted in me, I won't be aroused anymore.
Strict4u · 56-60, M
@Xalvadora you need to take things slow and get to know each other and what each other likes just don’t rush into sex let it happen naturally
mindless · M
sounds like you had the bad luck to meet a wrong guy :(
Xalvadora · 22-25, F
@mindless It's not bad luck when it has happened with every other guy I had sex with. I think it has something to do with me.
DCarey · 51-55, M
You just need to find a kind, gentle man.
Xalvadora · 22-25, F
@DCarey Did that, nothing.
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
I don't think it necessarily has to mean anything about your sexual orientation. You had a bad encounter with a man who didn't give a fuck about your needs. Sex with someone who doesn't know how to do it isn't going to make you feel good.
Xalvadora · 22-25, F
@LordShadowfire That's what made me confused in the first place.

 
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