Struggles & Identity

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I never thought I’d be sharing one of my life stories but..

Me and this guy have been on and off for 5 months. After a year he ends up getting into a relationship and completely cut me off. Recently he texted me telling me him and his gf has been having problems then proceeded to add me on snapchat and facebook but after a few weeks he deleted me. Like what is he trying to prove ??? He knows I still have feelings for him yet he’s still playing with me.

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Fairydust · F

He’s hoovering you, they keep people hanging on incase things don’t work out. Block him.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@Fairydust hoovering? 🤣

Fairydust · F

@MartinTheFirst lol it’s a term used for men that keep many woman hanging on in hope.

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@MartinTheFirst It is a term to describe men that send women into a deep depression. (Refer to "Black Monday" and October 29, 1929.)

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

He's not trying to prove anything he's using you as a backup since this relationship is not going well.

And that means that your romantic interest in him should be reconsidered because he should have more respect for you than that.

PepsiColaP

he is not trying to prove anything , he is just reaching out when things become/are unstable in his relationship instead of dealing with that and he will probably do that to everyone he is with. I would be happy it isnt me

SW-User

He can fuck completely off with his unstable shit.

hartfire

If you cut him out, eventually your feelings for him will fade.
That leaves you free to meet someone who is not a player.
Try to learn to pick up the clues about whether someone is sincere or not.
One way might be reading relevant blogs on Psychology Today.
The "on and off' thing was a strong clue from the moment it first started happening.

Carissimi · F

Your mistake is you didn’t block him the first time. He’s using you, and you either allow yourself to be used, or you don’t. It’s not about him. It’s about you tolerating bad behavior. I’m sorry because I know it hurts, but learn from this.

AstroZombie · 36-40, M

Toss the bum aside and find someone who WANTS to be in a relationship with you. Get someone who looks forward to hearing from you during the day and can't wait to spend time in person with you. Don't let someone play with you like that.

Jenny1234 · 51-55, F

Block that toxic arsehole

emery · F

@Jenny1234 honestly that’s the best option at this point

This message was deleted by its author.

CestManan · 46-50, F

It sounds like when he is between relationships he is just contacting you so he can kid himself that he still has someone.
Like you are just his backup. People do that so they can avoid some of the hurt from having been dumped by their "main" B/F or G/F.

Best to just avoid him cause he will continue this behavior.

PhoenixPhail · M

It sounds to me like he wants to have his Kate and Edith, too.

revenant · F

You are just Plan B when Plan A is missing

Pretzel · 61-69, M

avoid him like the plague

eMortal · M

From a man’s perspective, I’d say he still cares about you. You’re not just a piece of meat like others are suggesting, otherwise he would have made the bootycall. He probably wanted someone to talk to, then remembered it wouldn’t be fair to you. He cares but he’s not in love with you anymore.

Nebula · 41-45, F

You want me to beat him up?

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

Probably was trying to prove something to the other girl.. probably told her he added you back and that you’ve been talking with him..

All those moves people use to make someone jealous..

And then soon as they patched things up boom..

You were deleted from everything and ghosted again.,

Reject · 26-30, M

You’re his side hoe. If you don’t like that then set boundaries made to get you out of that position. You don’t have to stop having feelings, but you need to be respected. If that’s from a distance or not depends on how okay he is with the boundaries you make.

SW-User

Run as fast as you possibly can. @PepsiColaP is right. He's probably going to do that every time he's feeling insecure about his other relationship. There's nothing fun about being strung along. You deserve better.

Pfuzylogic · M

He thinks that you are close enough that there are no personal boundaries between you.
The problem is that can also translate to not being respectful with his actions.