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being · 36-40, F
Hey ya there....:( sometimes life hit a bottom.. if you can see further, at the biggest curvature of life 🧬 .... it has its downs and it has its ups.. for years I wanted to kill myself. But it passed, I've given many battles. I still face the same enemy or you can call it a demon if you prefer, only that nowadays it's a smaller one. But that doesn't make it less intense, subtleties can be intensive too...
I believe it's the root of that rotten plant that was poisoning my mind's garden with suicide thoughts. It's a script, that's how I came to define it, that runs like "you are not wanted, you are not welcome, you are not loved" and like that it indicates that I must leave. So in the past I would follow these thoughts and take them to the edge, like I had to leave this earth because of how bad I was, a true abomination, a malady for the human kind!
Nowadays it's softer, I'm not believing the thoughts but they're still coming occasionally. They make me do things I notice. Leave a company of people maybe, leave a place. How I see it is as if they're a force that is keep on pushing and pushing me out someplace.
Have a look at the root of your situation. It might take some time and consistency over few months, especially when the suicidal thoughts arise. Try to unveil layer after layer until you get to the core of the negative belief... what is it for You that is making you think you're not deserving of a beautiful place on this earth and life.. I'm telling, whatever it is, know that it's a lie. It's a negative belief installed in you from outside conditions and circumstances, no baby or child is arriving in this life hating themselves, look at them, they're all so loving about themselves and life.
I'm truly sorry this is your reality. But you can change this.. it'll take sometime and you need to, I don't know how, but find a way to hold on during this time and until this long lasting storm will pass 💜 because I can only ensure you about one thing and that is, if you manage to hold on, it will pass......
I believe it's the root of that rotten plant that was poisoning my mind's garden with suicide thoughts. It's a script, that's how I came to define it, that runs like "you are not wanted, you are not welcome, you are not loved" and like that it indicates that I must leave. So in the past I would follow these thoughts and take them to the edge, like I had to leave this earth because of how bad I was, a true abomination, a malady for the human kind!
Nowadays it's softer, I'm not believing the thoughts but they're still coming occasionally. They make me do things I notice. Leave a company of people maybe, leave a place. How I see it is as if they're a force that is keep on pushing and pushing me out someplace.
Have a look at the root of your situation. It might take some time and consistency over few months, especially when the suicidal thoughts arise. Try to unveil layer after layer until you get to the core of the negative belief... what is it for You that is making you think you're not deserving of a beautiful place on this earth and life.. I'm telling, whatever it is, know that it's a lie. It's a negative belief installed in you from outside conditions and circumstances, no baby or child is arriving in this life hating themselves, look at them, they're all so loving about themselves and life.
I'm truly sorry this is your reality. But you can change this.. it'll take sometime and you need to, I don't know how, but find a way to hold on during this time and until this long lasting storm will pass 💜 because I can only ensure you about one thing and that is, if you manage to hold on, it will pass......
Don't do it, if you've not prepared for what's on the other side. That takes preparation for a happy ending. Don't do it, period! That's not the answer to a temporary problem. You can always change things up. You can do this.
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
It comes for us all sooner or later. There's no need to rush things.
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DunningKruger · 61-69, M
@kittie No, you don't want to do that. Life is a wonderful thing if you stop and look around at it. I imagine there's nothing bad enough happening in your life that justifies it.
kittie · F
@DunningKruger you really don't know me or how crap my life just becomes everything seems okay dosent mean it is. You have no insight in my life so how would you even now
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
@kittie I spent years being one missed paycheck away from homeless. I have a tumor on my pituitary gland that's 3 times the size of the pituitary. At the moment, I'm suffering from a back injury that makes walking extremely painful. My wife has had serious health issues, any one of which might have killed her, four times. So many other problems. And if nothing else, these problems have taught me empathy. I don't know your specific problems, but I recognize a person in pain, and I have empathy for that. I also have experience that allows me to assure you that, if you keep pushing through your issues, things will get better. It may not come as fast as you'd like, but it will come. You just have to keep going.
Applepiedom · 56-60, M
Yeah? It's great in it's own time but sucks when it's truly not your time.
Natureman · 61-69, M
More fun living, so make the most out of it
Lostpoet · M
Same😔 i have that feeling
But just don't do it ok?
But just don't do it ok?
chillout17 · M
Don’t go and do that
BridgeOvertroubledWaters · 61-69, M
Please share....
MonaReeves86 · 36-40, F
Noooooooooooo dooooooooooonnn’ttttttttt dooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt !!!!!!!!!