I Pretend I'm Okay

I just found out an old best friend of mine just moved to the city I live in. He lived 9 hours away and moved literally right next to me and didn't even tell me. We've been friends for years, we even talked about dating and how we wished there wasn't any distance, that he would move here if he could.... then he met this girl and he moved up here with her and I had to find out through a mutual friend. I'm a little sad because I thought our friendship was stronger than that.

I'm not going to say anything because that's just how I am as a person, shit hurts me and I just smile and nod and act like nothing is wrong.

I don't know, tonight is really lame and everyone that is talking to me isn't helping and all I want is for someone to talk to. It's this ugly ugly thing I have because of my avoidant personality disorder. I'm incredibly lonely but push everyone away.

Also I can't see. I'm blind (not really but it feels like it) I need to get glasses, everything is blurry.