I Pretend I'm Okay
I have to pretend. I have to keep up a certain level for my job, and for my kids.I can't let either of those know even a quarter of how broken I am.
46-50, M
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GeniUs · 56-60, M
Yep that was me, think I had a breakdown and nobody spotted it because all those learning packages, training days, role playing scenarios were only about getting a 'passed' tick in the box and not about learning what to look out for. Sounds like you are close, is there anything that can be done? PM if needed I don't think/know if I can help but I've been there.
Lostinthefog · 46-50, M
@GeniUs thank you. Just a lot of stuff going on currently that's making it harder and harder each day. I'm at a point where I either have to make some huge life changing decisions, or possibly have a major break down.
GeniUs · 56-60, M
I changed jobs in the end but was divorced my 'better half' (joke) would never have let me get away with that, she would have rather I died so she could pick up the cash and be a grieving widow. Anyway I changed jobs for a lower paid one but one where I was more in control (ie tech author is not expected to manage projects)and it helped.
PoetryNEmotion · F
Why pretend? What good is that doing for you and for them?
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PoetryNEmotion · F
@Lostinthefog I see. It is your life. You must live it. Is she receiving treatment? How are your children doing with seeing her like this?
Lostinthefog · 46-50, M
She has recently started treatment again, due to her not dealing well with our daughter and her bf moving out.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@Lostinthefog Good luck with that. I hope you don't have to pretend for the rest of your life or until your kids move out.
sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M
what a great way to show your love for your family by lying to them.
Lostinthefog · 46-50, M
@sighmeupforthat giving into the way I feel and letting them see that would be selfish and quite the opposite of showing my love for them. Continuing to pretend to be the strong one is showing my love.