I should of seen it coming

The last 48 hours have been rough for me.
The antibiotics have not been helping me and I have not been feeling good.

Joel, our rock as always steps up. He takes care of me, he takes me to the ER. He's there for everything.

So when he gets home from work, he takes his shower like normal, but doesn't come out of our room.

I hear our oldest boy call out Daddy, Papa is on the floor and he's not doing good.

I should of seen this.

I go into our bathroom and he's having a panic attack. His are so different from mine. Mine are in the moment they are intense. I do a lot of pacing and I need a lot of talking and coaching to calm me down.

His are nothing like that, his are after the moment has passed. It's like once he knows everything is okay he gets overwhelmed by some feeling and he has a panic attack. He shuts down, collapses to the floor and stops breathing. They scare me so much. Because he stops breathing.

This one was bad. It lasted longer than any other he's had. He wouldn't breathe. I had to get really loud with him to get him to breathe. It took him a while to recover. Thank goodness my buddy was there to help with the kids. Once he seemed to come I gave him a bottle of water and one of my anxiety pills.

I hate this. This happened because he was worried about me. I shouldn't cause him to have a panic attack. Because I was in the ER all day.

I shouldn't cause him this much step.

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4meAndyou · F

As usual, you are blaming yourself when your going to the ER was because Joel MADE you go. AND he MADE you go because you were really THAT sick. You DID need to go!

Now, I have told you this before, but it is worth repeating. If Joel passes out, that is the absolute best thing for him.

Passing out during a panic attack is NOT to be feared.

IF a person having a panic attack passes out, their BODY takes over and it re-sets back to normal breathing mode.

So when Joel can't breathe, YOU should never panic. The absolute best thing that could happen is him passing out.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou I know you have told me this before but it's hard to remember when you are in the moment and you are seeing it happen. I just worry if he passes out he'll panic even more when he wakes up..

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy No. His body will take over for him. When he wakes up he won't be hyperventilating any more. Also, do you know about breathing into a paper bag? Like a lunch size bag? THAT helps a lot with hyperventilation.

I am speaking to you from my OWN experience, because when I was living with the ex I USED to get panic attacks.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou he's not hyperventilating he stops breathing all together. I have to remind him to breathe

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy Okay. After 2 minutes he will not die...he will pass out. I just want to reassure you that this is NOT life threatening. People hold their breath for 2 minutes and sometimes morw underwater and they don't die.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou it's easier to say that when you're not there in the moment. I was really scared for him and I did the best I could at the time it was happening

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy Yup. But I get worried about YOU and about how scared you get. I guess I feel your fear.

I used to train for emergency situations...both with the Greater Plymouth ARC, and for CPR certification, and then again when I trained as a specialist for elderly patients with Alzheimer's and dementia. I've actually been in situations where you just can't panic. You have to stop and think...calmly.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou thank you for worrying about me. Like I said this one just lasted so much longer than normal. But he's doing much better.

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy I have a suggestion for you and for Joel, both. Why don't you see if you can get a CPR trained person to give you classes on what to do for Joel's panic attacks? If you are TRAINED, and if you practice what to do, it won't be so scary for YOU>

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou that wouldn't be a bad idea. Joel knows CPR he had to do it on our buddy

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy Yup. But Joel can't train you. HE needs to pose as the CPR dummy, so that it is all very realistic, and you need a medically trained CPR professional to show you what to do when Joel isn't breathing.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a class since we have a medically fragile son too.

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy Yup. And Star needs to learn it, too.