I finally fell asleep

@HootyTheNightOwl I honestly don't know, I know I can trust him. He is a good man and he loves my kids like this own. That's not really the issue. I just get in my head that it's my job to do everything, take of every one and make sure everything is good. My mind races at night thinking of everything I need to do or redo or get ready for the next day or clean. I my job. I know it's not I know I need help and it's ok if I don't wash the counters in the kitchen 20 times but I just lay and think about until I get up and wipe them down. Then I can't stop wiping them down. They new meds are supposed to help but yesterday was a horrible day. I forgot my meds while we were out all day and it was a struggle. But I will take them again tonight.

@Cigarguy101 To put it bluntly, you know deep down that you're going to reach the point where you just crash eventually - whether you want to or not. You can't keep driving once your tank is empty.

Your job is also to look after yourself so that you can carry on looking after your children. How are you going to do that when your tank is on empty??? You're stopped on the side of the highway with an empty gas can.

You need to fill your own gas can before you can pour it out into the things you do as a father... and, yes, part of that is going to have to be accepting help from Joel and other people around you.

Maybe you could set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take your meds??? At least while you're tired and more likely to suffer from forgetfulness and brain fog... once you get into the habit, you might not even need the alarm anymore.

@HootyTheNightOwl you are so right. This is something I struggle with and I speak with my therapist about all the time. I know I have to take care of myself first. I do but I just get this feeling inside me. Most days I don't even sit down for dinner. I cook dinner, the set the table. When everyone sits down to eat I start cleaning up from cooking. Then when they are done I clear the table and clean up the dishes then I clean the kitchen. I can't leave the mess . I have to clean up right away.