You know what? Though I heard your pain, I also heard how beautifully you expressed yourself without sounding angry or bitter but I heard more love in that testimony and you know what ran through my mind? Before anything does happen to your dad I think you should send that very same thing that you just wrote about your father, to him in a letter and I think that will really touch his heart and maybe, just maybe, in his senior years, that might make him get sober when he sees how deeply you have missed him and how much you love him, because there was nothing hateful or mean about that testimony. It was beautiful though it was painful for you. The way you narrated it was beautiful and so loving and if you change that to word exactly, only like you're talking to your dad and send it to him, I really believe it will touch his heart and maybe he'll see that wow my poor daughter didn't get the life I did. Maybe we can become closer and I can show her more love in these later years. You never know. But I don't think it would make him angry. I think it would make him think. It's just something to think about. I think he might appreciate it actually that you still want to have some time quality time with him. You can think about it of course. My heart really goes out to you hunny. I'm going to be saying some prayers for your family. Is your mom still alive? I'm sorry you're hurting so bad but I read your testimony slowly and carefully so I could hear every word. People can change in their old age and that's what I'm going to be praying so that you can have at least some time with your dad. You hang in there now I'll be praying for you and your dad.
I hope things get so much better for you all. ❤🫂

I grew up in very similar conditions. I finally left him for good when i was 21 and never saw him again. he died alone, divorced by my mother and not seen by his kids. In time, i found it in myself to forgive him--carrying the fear and even hate I did for many years never served me well. I now feel compassion for him--yes, he struggled with an addiction, and yes, there must have been things in his life and childhood that made the addiction dominate him. My heart is with you!!!

He needs to read this.

Man. Felt this in my heart and gut. You have a good head on your shoulders. Sorry its been a struggle

I totally understand how you feel but keep in mind that he is sick. Alcoholism is a sickness and the only way he can beat it is with love and support. Just keep in mind you have people who care about you and are here for you. If you need to talk hit me up. I that seem cliché but i really mean it

I am sorry.

Just try to see him whenever you can and make the most of your time together. Do you see him occasionally?
My dad was an alcoholic too and his needs always came before my sister and I or any needs we have. He wasted so much money on alcohol instead of saving it for a family vacation.

However I could at least talk to him or joke around more than I ever could my mom. I would visit him in his nursing home the last two years, but I do wish I'd gone more often. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma in January,and it was very aggressive, they couldn't even offer chemo. It was devastating. He passed in February just three weeks after diagnosis..I was with him in hospice everyday and just like you, I feel he's still my dad, and I still wanted to offer him love or comfort. I wish he could have defended me though growing up..my mom would rage at me and bully me daily, and he'd just listen and say nothing. That's hard to swallow, that his status to stay married and quiet under her tyranny meant more than my heart or mind or Self. But I do miss him Bec we did have a calm visit most of the time..

I am very sorry. My husband passed away and I feel like I have been an alcoholic drinking twice a week. I feel like that I want to drink whiskey every day. The feeling of drunk make me feel good.

Do you know what triggers him to be an alcoholic?

i had my birth mom that was like to if you want to messge me in my inbox if you want to chat more?

Growing up as a child i can relate,i don't really like to talk about it.