Is it possible to heal together?

Does sharing the grief help or does it make things worse?
It's hard handling this on my own
It's like a heavy weight tied to my back

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Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

Well my response is going to fall very pale compared to Pretzel's but I will give it a shot anyway.

Yes it is possible and is way more likely to happen if you attempt to share what you are going through with the other person involved.
But the trick is to share openly without judgment or expectation of receiving the response you are looking for.
Kind of like love. We all think that love should be returned equally but in reality that really isn't what loving someone is.
To love someone is to give yourself to them with no expectation of return.
So maybe this helps with what you are going through or maybe I should say no to the third cup of coffee. :-)

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Dainbramadge I do agree with what you say about love most people believe self love is the most important, but giving yourself for someone else is actually much more rewarding and brings much more peace to one's mind.

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@Justmeraeagain It really does and you worded that so well.
I hate when people refer to their relationships as 50/50.
It's not like that. LOL.

I found this out about love NOT with my ex-wife but my kids.
Even though I treated the ex the same way I do the kids I never realized it in an actual complete thought until I was thinking about how my kids rarely say thank you for stuff that I do for them.
But I was surprised when I realized that, that it actually made me happy that they don't think that me doing stuff for them is out of lines enough that they would think to thank me. Does that make sense at all? LOL
I had crap parents that would feed and cloth me and that was about it.
So when my kids don't realize I am doing anything thank worthy that means I am everything my parents weren't. :-)

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Dainbramadge When they are grown they will then begin to know how much you've done for them.
If they have children of their own that's when they start to realize it's not a matter of having to do something for someone -it was pure love.