It's so painful to lose my husband.

I feel so painful that I live a life without my husband.
I went to bereavement group and I didn't feel like it helped me.
The probate isn't helping me at all, I feel trap in the place that I don't want to stay anymore. I want to travel as a backpacker but probate holds me here. I hate this feeling.

I felt better when I was in the church.

I cry every time I remember my late husband kindness. I try to remember happy memories with him but those don't make me feel good or happy. It makes me feel deeply sad. I want to go with him as well.

I wish I could swap position with him when he was very ill in the hospital.

My heart is dying with him.