The Burden of Death

I miss talking to my husband and today was real bad.

Perhaps, it is the reason why I cannot feel good about celebrating the death of someone else's husband no matter what he believed or taught.

My husband didn't die in a brutal way, although, it was still terrible and too quick and I didn't really have a lot of time to prepare myself for that.

Another woman, much younger than myself, grieves tonight with her young children.
She wasn't ready either and she has the additional burden of having to deal with the violence of the death and with the taunts of those people who think it is better that her husband is dead.

My God! we're not supposed to shoot people over these things we are supposed to try to reason with them, discuss it with them, and then walk away if we can't agree and fight for what we do believe in without violence.

No, I can't see anything good nor can I see myself being happy that somebody's husband was brutally killed.

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HootyTheNightOwl · 41-45

Grief affects different people in different ways.

Maybe she needs to celebrate what her husband achieved in his life as a means of getting through???

Maybe she believes that he's in "paradise" now - whatever form that takes for her...

It's okay to sit this one out if your own grief is still too raw and close to the surface. Taking care of yourself and whatever you need is what's important right now. You can deal with commemorating this guy in a way that feels authentic to you another day.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@HootyTheNightOwl
I'm not commemorating anyone.
It is common human decency ,to me, to not be okay with someone being brutally murdered.

HootyTheNightOwl · 41-45

@Justmeraeagain Ah... I think that I misread what you said somewhere along the way.

For some reason, I thought that you were saying that his wife and family had chosen to celebrate his life rather than mourning his death (which some people do). I see now that your problem lies with his opponents and how they are treating his wife and children.

bijouxbroussard · F

The man who died dismissed as deserved the murders of another woman’s husband, and another couple’s child. Probably because they were black.

I can’t imagine someone as kind as you having loved anyone that evil; so I’ve no doubt your loved one was a good man.

But I have no reason to think Kirk’s wife didn’t share his beliefs. So my sympathy is for their children. They didn’t choose their father.

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Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@bijouxbroussard
I do not ask that people grieve over someone, not even my husband if they didn't like him or know him.
I would be somewhat concerned if he was brutally killed and the response was oh well or I don't care.
That might be so, but I didn't need to hear it.
And I think it shows a lack of compassion for human life in general.
I grieve the way he died it was brutal and unnecessary.
I grieve for a woman who lost her husband.
I grieve for people who had to witness this.
I grieve for his children no matter who their father was.
Because the act was so brutal.
Because, I can imagine but never quite understand how devastating something like that would be to anyone.
I cannot grieve for them personally as I did not know them nor did I watch his show or go to his talks.
But, I can grieve for human life being taking away again in such a brutal manor.
Just as I grieve any life that is taken for no other reason because someone doesn't like them or doesn't respect them enough to listen to their pleas of help.
And I grieve for that family as well -I need not know them.
I need not agree completely ,but I do know how devastating it is to lose someone and I would think the devastation would be even more when it's brutal.
And for that I grieve

bijouxbroussard · F

@bijouxbroussard

a person could argue that the attitude of that they don't care someone was killed because they were a petty criminal would be just as valid?

That is being argued. Charlie Kirk himself made that argument.

You are my friend. I’ve always known you to be kind to me and others. I care what happens to you in your life. I respect that you are able to empathize with those with whom you disagree.

When it’s a simple disagreement, I too can reason, but with people who hate people like me, I just can’t.

I don’t know if I’m more damaged or more careful.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@bijouxbroussard
I know right now I need to sleep.
I tried to use logic in all of my thinking processes, but I'm too tired now to continue to think.
I'll just say I've heard some people who hate white people and wish great harm on us.
I still believe they have a right to say what they wish and have a reasonable right to expect to not be killed for stating those beliefs.
If they were killed brutally I would have the same reaction.

Jake966 · 56-60, M

Sorry for your loss

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Jake966 thank you

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