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Today is hard

In 2013, I found experience project while googling ways to take my life. I decided to write a story on there instead. I saw another post from a woman who wrote about how it sucks that they are always photogenic in pictures and I made a jome about it. She lived in America and a year later she came to Australia to stay with me for 3 months.

While here, I remember her making this dish that included a sauce made with cherry tomatoes. We never finished it. While here, a stray cat used to visit each day. I would often find them both in my backyard together. The day she flew back, that cat stopped coming. I joked that I wouldn't throw out the sauce until she came back... she never came back. She took her life a few months later. She found the website the same way I had. I remember opening my door that night and seeing that cat laying on my doormat and all I was thinking was "I promised I wouldn't throw out that sauce".

That sauce stayed in my fridge for over a year until I finally buried it in a memorial to her. I never saw that cat again but one day I found a dead mouse over where it was buried and I wondered if it was a gift... 9 years ago today, she passed away and I just miss her so much.
plungesponge · 41-45, M
She went to the end of the earth to spend her last few months of existence with you. Even if it was just to give her a few last good memories on Earth, you did a wonderful thing. All we have is limited time and choices on the experiences we can create with it
Matt85 · 36-40, M
aww shit 😞
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
I’m sorry to hear that. She took her life but I’m glad that you never took yours
Gusman · 61-69, M
That is really sad. I hope you have found some peace with this matter.
Have you managed to ease your mind regarding those negative thoughts?
Life can be tiring when constantly battling with the mind.
Writing does help by getting those thoughts out and thus not having them going around and around.
Baconrind · 36-40, M
@Gusman I appreciate this. Yeah, she encouraged me to write so I actually wrote after, at first so she wouldn't be forgotten and then because I realised how many other people are struggling. I performes these words and others at events where other's had lost someone to suicide and in the Sydney Opera house. It doesn't make it easier, however, I little less alone
DrWatson · 70-79, M
That is a heart wrenching story.

You sound like a good person, and I am glad you did not take your life. the world needs compassionate people like you.
SnailTeeth · 36-40
I'm sure she didn't want to leave you.
It's never you.
It's this place.
Life is complicated. 🤗
Rhode57 · 56-60, M
Oh wow that is so sad . Sorry for your loss .
Fairydust · F
That’s so sad 😞
romell · 51-55, M
Sad think she needed professional help but such matters neither its easily available nor appreciated..lots don't know the difference between psychology and psychatry still..hope she restsvin peace
MonaMoona · 36-40, F
She was your angel because she gave you a reason to continue your life

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