Today is hard

In 2013, I found experience project while googling ways to take my life. I decided to write a story on there instead. I saw another post from a woman who wrote about how it sucks that they are always photogenic in pictures and I made a jome about it. She lived in America and a year later she came to Australia to stay with me for 3 months.

While here, I remember her making this dish that included a sauce made with cherry tomatoes. We never finished it. While here, a stray cat used to visit each day. I would often find them both in my backyard together. The day she flew back, that cat stopped coming. I joked that I wouldn't throw out the sauce until she came back... she never came back. She took her life a few months later. She found the website the same way I had. I remember opening my door that night and seeing that cat laying on my doormat and all I was thinking was "I promised I wouldn't throw out that sauce".

That sauce stayed in my fridge for over a year until I finally buried it in a memorial to her. I never saw that cat again but one day I found a dead mouse over where it was buried and I wondered if it was a gift... 9 years ago today, she passed away and I just miss her so much.