Upset
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Stopping a Bully

My daughter has been getting bullied at school by students. She is in 6th grade and they are in 7th and 8th grade. It's been going on since school started, but she only told me about it yesterday when it got worse. Yesterday a group of older boys surrounded her and started barking at her and yelling at her "bark b!tch, bark b!tch". She said a couple of older girls have been in on it too.

So this morning I sent my email to the school. I had a conference with the principal and school counselor about 2 hours later. Things are going smoothly. It appears that the situation is taken seriously and steps are being taken resolve it.

There is something else about it though that is really bothering me. This group of boys intimidate female teachers I learned. They have made a number of female teachers cry. The school counselor said they aren't as bad when other male teachers are around. I heard from a parent that works at the schools that one boy in particular is the worst. I was told that back in the 4th grade he would make his teacher have a nervous breakdown almost every day. I brought all this up to principal and he quickly denied there being very little truth to it.

Why are students allowed to behave this way towards teachers with no consequences? The rules that schools have set against bullying needs to be applied to everyone. If they really say they have no tolerance for bullying then they have to show it. Bullying has to take place in an environment that supports it. If they ignore and dismiss students bullying school staff then the bullying will continue. If the staff can't stand up to the bullying as a unified force of authority then bullies will take advantage of this weakness. They will continue to terrorize their victims and will eventually escalate the abuse.
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SW-User
I would learn everything I can about the ringleader and his family. I'd organize with other parents who have a problem with him and his group, and track all illicit activity. Also, I'd put my daughter in martial arts lessons asap. If the problem continues with your daughter on any level, I'd bring legal action. They would rue the day I got involved
morrgin · F
@SW-User I was thinking the same things
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@SW-User I agree except for the last part, i don't think responding with physicality ever really works, and can boomerang. My son was attacked in high school and the perpetrator stole his musical instrument. My son fought back and was suspended for fighting, even though all of the bystanders agreed that the other person had been the instigator.
Budwick · 70-79, M
@SW-User I LOVE your response! - Ma'am.

Don't mess with this one!
SW-User
@morrgin It's a shame, but you have to wrest the reins, take control, and never back down. You will succeed, because you are in the right
SW-User
@Budwick Thank you :)

And that's right! I, nor my progeny, will be fucked with... period
SW-User
@samueltyler2 We disagree on that, then. Martial arts are perfect for self-protection, self-confidence, and self-control. Her daughter is at risk for losing her self-esteem. Males are being aggressive towards her, a female. If it's tolerated, it will escalate. She should be fortified against that. Suspension is preferred over not fighting back.
Budwick · 70-79, M
@SW-User Blythe - you are my hero!
SW-User
lol, I love you too, @Budwick <3
@samueltyler2 Sometimes a physical response is needed!! Even if it means suspension. Did you stand up for your son, or did you just accept the suspension?
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@UnderLockDown Yes, we protested, went to arbitration. The school stated it has a no fighting policy regardless of who started the altercation.
@samueltyler2 Then accept the suspension and let your son know that you support him, that's all there is for the situation. I bet he saved himself further harrasment by fighting back because the other kids knew it wouldn't get them anywhere.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@UnderLockDown That is all we could do. We insisted that the episode be clearly explained in my son's school record. We didn't like the fact that his suspension was on his school record.
SW-User
@samueltyler2 I respect that completely. I just happen to not place that much importance on records compared to how happy and successful my child emerges from the public school system
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@SW-User very nicely explained.
SW-User
Thanks, @tallpowerhouseblonde :) Your avi is very impressive. You look amazing!
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@SW-User Thank you.I have been working out with weights since I was 18 and trained in martial arts since I was 10.
@SW-User Pretty sure she's been voted the baddest woman on SW, and she seems like a pretty nice person too.😎💪
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@UnderLockDown I think I won a "Who would win an SW boxing championship?" post.
I do try to be nice to everyone.Mostly I succeed but there have been times where I allowed myself to get triggered.
SW-User
@tallpowerhouseblonde Awesome and impressive :) I studied martial arts growing up too. I feel like it's why I never had my ass kicked, lol
SW-User
@UnderLockDown I don't doubt it a bit. When you're built like that, you can be as nice as you want... or not, lol ;)
@samueltyler2 That’s infuriating. They can’t protect kids from bullies but will punish the ones who defend themselves. No wonder some kids are showing up with guns. 😞
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@SW-User It will be.Better to have a skill you don't need than not have a skill you do need.I have won every physical confrontation I have been in.
SW-User
@tallpowerhouseblonde So true! And I have no doubt about that. I've rarely been challenged, but it has turned out well for me each time. It's interesting watching people realize what they're up against.
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@SW-User Shocks the hell out of them when people realise they just made a really bad mistake they are now paying for.
SW-User