You have something a lot of us don't. You have a whole household going through the same grief. Which fortunately means all of you understand what each of you is going through.
But it's important to do what you just did. Always express what you're feeling.
You should check out the website grieving.com
I was a member there for a while but I got kicked off because one of the moderators irritated me and I criticized him. There are however a lot of people there you can relate to that can relate to you and your situation because everyone there is going through it in one form or another.

Everything will be ok ... Stay in the Now only. In the Now, we are safe. There's no past or future, it's just us standing, or sitting, breathing, talking... Anxiety lies to us and exaggerates anything. Stay in the present and you'll get through each moment and each day..

It's been a very rough year for you and your family Joel. Losing Jeremy was really hard for you. Talking to abuela and Jeremy's buddy will help alot. Just remember that Jeremy will always be with you and your children. 🤗🫂❤💙🩵

As OlderSometimesWiser said, grief counseling can help unload the enormous stress associated with losing a partner.
A little over 3 weeks has passed since Jeremy was taken.
Talk to Abuela and Buddy. They will listen to you and totally understand your grief.

Hope you’re getting some kind of grief counseling. What you’re going through is very difficult to navigate on your own. Even online grief groups were quite helpful when my husband passed away, having people to talk with who were also going through tremendous loss.

what's going on? sigh i have to sleep.. be well 😐