if you’ve never lived with anxiety, you won’t really understand what it’s like to be your own worst enemy.

Exactly. I hear you and I sure feel for you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. No wonder you feel rough. So many go through that, including myself at times. If we said we didn't, we'd be lying. I'm thinking, after reading your post, that perhaps my latest post might help you. I hope so. I have found that the most painful wounds, are those we allow/allowed others to inflict on us.

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/5457667-Really-Youre-Going-to-Be-Okay-When-you-stop-rushing-through

People on the outside looking in will never know what you are truly going through no matter how many times you explain it. I have a mild case and i've learned its like flames that burns everything behind you no matter which direction you go it follows you and burns paths and bridges and you have to find a way around the carnage to get back to where you need to be.

A lack of trust in your own abilities that can actually be a self-fulfilling prophecy is the worst. The loop where you're scared you will mess something up to the point your own body fails you with physical symptoms like brain fog or tremor which significantly increases chances that you will fail is a nightmare.

So hard to turn off your brain. Never stops.