Something I do that's not for everyone

I find that when I'm really panicky and anxious I need something in my hands. So one of the things I do that's not for everyone is hold my rosary. I just fiddle with the beads. I find it comforting to hold it. Sometimes I will hold my boyfriends rosary because it's something that belongs to him and it reminds me of him. He can be right there in the room but if I'm panicking I can't even speak to him. So he'll often hand it to me. I need something to slowly bring me back to myself. To pull me out of that feeling of unreality.