Why do I do this to myself?

I kind of want but don’t want people to know when I’m sad or whatever. My friend at church tonight asked how work was going and I said it was going okay and she asked if I was tired from working and I said no. And a few minutes later her husband looked at me giving me the thumbs up👍🏻and said “you good?” I didn’t wanna go into much detail but at the same time I did. It’s like I wanna keep everything I go through to myself but at the same time, I don’t. Does that make ANY sense whatsoever? Probably not. Lol