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Justice1983

36-40, T

United States

Single

Pansexual

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Last day is new years unless I find a reason not to

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Worthless thing needs

There is nothing I've ever had or ever will have that is a reason to live.

Thinking of a way i cant screw up

Freight train tracks... no way I can screw up putting my neck across the rail as the train crosses

39 years of mistake so far...

I was born November 1983. Do the math of when I began being a mistake there.

I give up one and for all

Theres no point to me trying anymore, all I do is fail.

I'm not going to rely on anyone anymore. Nobody really cares anyways.

I've realized that I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone, as nobody will ever actually care about me that way.

This could be bad

So I may have Covid. Oh boy.

just more fun...

So now I'm officially at 3 seizures this year, when I'd never had one before. Now I have to not drive for at least 3 months.

Just thinking at work...

The second I can afford to, I should just leave, cut contact with literally everyone. I am certain none of their lives will be worse without me, and most will be better for it.

Dear effing lord..

I'm fairly suicidal, and at the rate it's going, im going to end up accidentally killing myself just by working 60+ hour weeks without it having anything to do with wanting to die.

What's the point

Every single instant from conception to now I've been a mistake, completely and utterly worthless

Things i need to do...

I feel like slashing my wrists, my throat, my blood vessels in my upper legs.... whatever will ensure I manage to actually kill myself instead of failing again.

Hatred and self-loathing

I feel so alone and unwanted, so broken. I'm soo tired of it all, I don't know if I can do it anymore.

Walmart sales...

Does Walmart still sell shotguns?

rising depression yet again

The isolation is making it worse and worse. I need irl friends to interact with.

Its that day again

38 years of nothing more than a mistake

My so-called birthday

I'm debating self-destruction on Saturday to "celebrate" the day.

Falling apart yet again

I've been burned out for months now, and after already being there, I increased the amount of time im spending at work. This will be the first week in I don't even know how omg I'm actually going to take 2 days off. If I don't figure something out...

Can anybody hypnotize me into a brainless toy?

Erased from existence

Its very easy to tell you've been nothing but a bother to everyone when nobody even notices you're erasing yourself completely.

Is anyone really there

Is there anybody left who's trustworthy?

just insane boredom

I'm on vacation and I still can't get myself to sleep on a normal night sleep cycle lol. Too long working overnight.

This seems like a good week to just end it.

Contact with spirits

On my vacation next week, im going to see if I can make contact with anything using my ouija board. Wish me luck.

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