Almost 6 months since the last time I online here. Nothing's changed and yet still a problematic frog.

@oogirl Thank you, girly! I appreciate this. ^_^

@iamrainfrog I know, its there for years, but I explained why in my 1st pm.
Give me a chance please.

@iamrainfrog I will prove my identity and explain everything. You can block me if I bothers you.

@MissyChrissy I don’t know why you’re so persistent, but okay, I’ll chat with you. You don't have to prove your identity either. Pls don't share your personal information online.

@iamrainfrog I wish you knew. You don't deserve to die.

@SinlessOnslaught Don’t waste your wish on me — just kidding. Thanks, I kind of wish for that too.

@iamrainfrog It couldn't be wasted.

@RedGrizzly I honestly don’t even know how to reply to that... it’s a lot, and it hit me harder than I expected. I appreciate your effort btw. What you said about hurting because you’re alive, not dead inside—that really stuck with me. I never thought of it that way. I guess sometimes I hate feeling everything so deeply, but maybe that means there’s still something left in me that wants to keep going, even when I say I don’t.

When you talked about PTSD and how your body reacts even when your mind doesn’t—yeah, that part hit too. It’s weird how pain can live in you like that. I get what you mean about movement helping, but some days it just feels easier to stay still and let it all sit, even if it hurts.

I’m not gonna lie, I still feel lost most of the time. But reading what you shared made me stop for a bit and think—maybe I’m not completely broken yet. So… thank you for sharing that, really. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure things out soon, but your words made me feel a bit less alone tonight.

@iamrainfrog Right? I know that was a long read. But it makes me happy to hear that it helped. There's no pressure in having to figure everything out now, I'm older than you and still feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly. But truth is, we're going to get where we need to be and do what it is that fulfills us. Just gotta explore, keep living life and see what sticks. But absolutely, everyone's different. If sitting still helps when you're in that rut, by all means, there's definitely moments where being still is necessary to move forward. As for myself, if I stay still and don't release that energy it's a lot more likely I'm gonna end up accidentally hurting myself by punching the hell out of something or whatever it is... because shock helps get out of those episodes. I'll use cold water and pain stimulation (I recommend something like "little ouchies". They're for people to squeeze and it has these ridges or "spikes" that poke against your palm). But you may have a different method, which if it works and it's safe then go for it! It seriously makes me glad to know that you don't feel alone in this anymore.You're pain is going to be redefined, as you're building resilience! It sucks to feel it, but ultimately it does keep your humility than someone who's not experienced what it's like. You'll start finding gratitude for things as much as you're able to see the negatives. Example, I remember what it was like when I was a slave like yesterday. I had to be tracked constantly, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere except for work, I wasn't allowed to keep the fruits of my labor either, had to live like I was walking on eggshells, ECT....and someone who's not experienced that may not truly appreciate or really take for granted the freedoms/people/things they have. I have a deep appreciation in being able to walk outside and bask in sunlight. Like it's simple, nobody really thinks about that, but when you haven't seen the sky for at least a week...omg.
But anyway, I'm sorry for the long read again. Lol Honestly, if you have any questions or need someone to lean on, you can dm me and keep in touch. I don't min it at all. 🫂🤍

@iamrainfrog You're not broken, my dear. You're wounded - and wounds heal. 🫂