Sympathy is just a reminder

Sympathy should come with some kind of help or solution, otherwise it's as good as poison.

Some people face their hard life everyday because they don't realize it's a hard life. If someone goes out of their way to acknowledge their struggles, the one struggling might get depressed and then have troubles carrying on, then turn into the type who uses their struggles as their identity and never again able to see past them. Eventually they lose their friends, one by one, until they're all alone and sad

Sympathy is usually intended to make the sympathizer feel superior or because they already feel superior

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Infamous607 · 51-55, M

Although I understand what you are saying, I'm not sure I fully agree with it. There have been moments in my life when the sympathy of some people got me from sliding into hopelessness. Maybe it doesn't have a tangible utilitarian value, but I don't know maybe it's a spirit or soul thing. Who knows?

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Infamous607 i understand what you're saying, thanks for being honest with your comment.

I've had experiences where sympathy messes with my stride. ..and I'm expected to take time out of my plans to appreciate their sympathy.

Ive had sympathy attempted to be forced on me and lock me up against my will because it was assumed that i couldn't handle the pain my life was creating. They should've tried to understand me instead. Understanding is much more valuable to me than sympathy

Infamous607 · 51-55, M

@Jayciedubb I get it.

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

To me it sounds like a them problem. If my being sympathetic and offering to help you makes you depressed and makes it harder for you to carry on, i have done my part and it's up to you to accept my help or reject it. I swear sometimes, people cannot win for losing. Its like a double edged sword.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@AngelUnforgiven you added a Twist to my post that made you angry. I didn't say anything about not helping. You added it. You prefer to be angry. That's fine. I kind of like being angry too. it makes me happy for some reason.

I'm pretty sure that I clearly said sympathy with nothing else to help is like poison or something along those lines

Wiseacre · F

Disagreed!

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kodiac · 22-25, M

@Jayciedubb Personally i have a lot of experience with hardship in life . Many times people have said I'm sorry that happened to you and i think well it wasn't you fault so why apologize? But i really never thought they were being selfish or doing it to in some way benefit themselves . I do agree that pity is never what i want or need. In many cases people actually do empathize but don't have any way to express that other than saying wow I'm sorry that happened. When talking about understanding many things can't really be understood without personal experience. If someone says I'm sorry that happened but I'm here if you need support i don't see that as self serving .would it be a better reaction to just say nothing and distance themselves ?

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kodiac · 22-25, M

@Jayciedubb understood

kodiac · 22-25, M

Sympathy or empathy it's a fine line

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@kodiac I would say that empathy comes with actions while sympathy is just an observation

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

We should go the Christian Nationalist route and do away with empathy and sympathy altogether. Truly, tools of the Devil. 👿

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Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@GeistInTheMachine I don't know what happened with that first reply. But yeah get rid of all that. Sarcasm too LOL

What does feeling sorry for somebody do if that's all you're going to do for them? All you're doing is making yourself feel good at their expense

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