Sympathy is just a reminder

Sympathy should come with some kind of help or solution, otherwise it's as good as poison.

Some people face their hard life everyday because they don't realize it's a hard life. If someone goes out of their way to acknowledge their struggles, the one struggling might get depressed and then have troubles carrying on, then turn into the type who uses their struggles as their identity and never again able to see past them. Eventually they lose their friends, one by one, until they're all alone and sad

Sympathy is usually intended to make the sympathizer feel superior or because they already feel superior

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Wiseacre · F

Disagreed!

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Wiseacre and? Can you give an example of how your pity makes a homeless man feel good if that's all you're going to do is pity him? I imagine it would make me feel pathetic . The pity makes you feel good about yourself for being a good person and likely makes you feel Superior

kodiac · 22-25, M

@Jayciedubb I agree about the pity but not everyone does it to feel better about themselves. I think it's an emotion. But it can also hold the person back.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@kodiac you're right. It's natural to sympathize with someone who's got a lot of hurdles in front of them. However, it's usually best to keep it to yourself if that's all you have.

It's possible that they didnt notice and now that they do, they might start feeling sorry for themselves and quit trying.

Its better to let them finish whatever it is and praise them after for overcoming such obstacles.. I know that's not the easiest approach, but I think it leads to the best result

kodiac · 22-25, M

@Jayciedubb Personally i have a lot of experience with hardship in life . Many times people have said I'm sorry that happened to you and i think well it wasn't you fault so why apologize? But i really never thought they were being selfish or doing it to in some way benefit themselves . I do agree that pity is never what i want or need. In many cases people actually do empathize but don't have any way to express that other than saying wow I'm sorry that happened. When talking about understanding many things can't really be understood without personal experience. If someone says I'm sorry that happened but I'm here if you need support i don't see that as self serving .would it be a better reaction to just say nothing and distance themselves ?

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kodiac · 22-25, M

@Jayciedubb understood