Heading back to the hospital

So Star got home and I had to tell her what happened. At first she didn't believe then she started laughing. Next came the anger. She yelled and even hit me then the tears. Once she calmed down she decided she needed to pack a bag and take some things up to him at the hospital. So we're going to Uber to the hospital and see what the next steps for him is. I know he's going to be admitted to the hospital for at leave 92 hours or 4 days I'm not sure.

Grandma is spending the day with the kids lucky it was planned that way so Sissy won't be upset. Joel's ex is going to take the boys tonight because I'm sure Star will want to be with her Dad during this.

Now I have to figure out what to tell the kids. Do I tell them the truth. Do I sugar coat?

This is a lot and I'm not good at this stuff

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onrealityofdreams · M

You're right. It is a lot. But they will never learn if you sugarcoat it. This is easy for someone like me to say because I'm not within the family circle. Keeping that in mind my suggestion is to gather them and in your best calm voice be upfront and honest. It'll be difficult at first but when you treat them with respect they tend to learn respect and spread it.

Cigarguy · M

@onrealityofdreams maybe sugar coat isn't the right word maybe I just need to keep it more age appropriate for them they are 7 and 10.

onrealityofdreams · M

@Cigarguy Age appropriate is a much better phrasing.

4meAndyou · F

I think ALL of your kids are too young to learn that there is a thing upon this earth called suicide. It would be VERY shocking for them to learn that someone so very close to them, and to you and Joel...attempted it.

I was 11 years old when my favorite Uncle committed suicide...and the sadness of it...and the anger his sister felt and expressed at his complete and utter selfishness...still lives with me today. He was so very handsome. Such a compelling figure in my life till then. His sons found him, in his pickup truck. He got drunk and blew his brains out with a shotgun. His sons had to SEE that.

He left behind THREE children, and his widow had to find a low paying job to support their kids.

You should tell your children that your friend got very sick, and had to go to the hospital. YES...sugar coat it. Make up a story. Say he had a heart attack, (which is partly true)...but make sure Star tells them the same story.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou I'm so sorry about your uncle. That is so sad.

You are so sweet and I appreciate you advice on this. It's very helpful to me! You are such a good friend to me

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy You deserve every single friend you have, both in RL, and here on SW. You are one of the best people I've ever spoken to.

Barefooter25 · 46-50, M

You and Joel have to sit down with the kids and slowly and carefully explain to them what happened. Unfortunately, this is out of your hands. You need to let the professionals deal with this. The only thing you can do is be there for him and Star. 🙏✨

Cigarguy · M

@Barefooter25 yeah he's like a n uncle to them. I think I'm going to reach out to their counselors and see what they suggest the best way to tell them. Because no matter what he's going to be in the house for a while and I have to explain something to them. They know he's not physically sick like our oldest boy or I was when we were in the hospital last year.

YoMomma ·

I would just tell them he went to the hospital i wouldn't elaborate how or why unless they pressed the issue 😳 idk that they need to know all that 😳🤐

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YoMomma ·

@Cigarguy well i guess she has to know if her friend knows..

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

I would be honest but mindful and use it as a teaching moment.

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Poppies · 61-69, F

@Cigarguy talking to her therapist is exactly what I was going to suggest

Cigarguy · M

@Poppies yeah this is way over my head and I just want to do everything the best way possible for them

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