Honestly I feel dead

I don't want to move. I don't want to work. I'm done feeling things. I have been drinking to numb it all. Ive even gone to the extent to mix weed with alcohol which I shouldnt. But then again, I can't sleep.

I feel so much of everything hitting me harder now. Imagine waking up to feel worthless. Not matter. You feel empty and then you need to go on with the day. If I could, I'd take it all away but I can't. At least as of now. I'm biting my tongue and holding onto the rope despite me bleeding from holding on.

I want to let go. Not remember anyone and just go away with the wind.

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bookerdana · M

Please don't.....everyone in the world has gone through something like this.😞 I understand the drinking but alcohol is not your friend and the lack of sleep magnifies everything.

If it gets worse consider please calling the National Suicide Prevention line :988..I believe the website has other resources.....PLEASE🙏 This too will pass.

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Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bookerdana Thank you so much man. I'm genuinely trying hard. There are days where it's so much worse in my head.

I wish things were easier. But Idk if I want to even take on the shit show I'm dealing with. I'm just dead within man.

bookerdana · M

@Beatbox34 you're very welcome🙂

Obviously you're caught in a moment..but you can get out of it.

AS I think I mentioned ,talking it out with a friend ,relative or someone here can be HUGE.
Also I find these things helpful: If you can walk ,fast for as long as you can..though any exercise helps

Music..I think you got this one

shower before bed
If things get really hairy,this might help:https://www.responsecrisiscenter.org/

you can opt to chat,as well as talk..keep us posted,best

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bookerdana I will. Thank you so much for this.

Music is the only strand I have that's keeping me alive.

being · 36-40, F

Hey man... sorry to hear it .. you write it so vividly this with the rope.. Let it go perhaps you will fall into a cold river and the shock will clear you up... I hope you went to sleep. Go to nature if you can, she's the greatest healer.. do nothing, just go and trust your body to her to balance it out, she knows how. I'm sorry you're going through this and sending you a hug 🤗

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@being I'm trying. My mental health isn't the best apparently.

being · 36-40, F

@Beatbox34 when life gets tough it means you are about to call new forces from within...you will do it dear, you will go through this...rest...🌒💜

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@being Thank you for this. This means a lot to me.

Maybe one day I'll get out of this.

novembermoon · 51-55

We all feel like shit some days. You pull yourself together now. You will get through it. Remember, we’re just a bag of chemicals. Once the balance comes back, you’d feel much better.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@novembermoon I can try. Thank you.

novembermoon · 51-55

@Beatbox34 Life is hard but be kind to yourself. Take care.

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