Honestly I feel dead

I don't want to move. I don't want to work. I'm done feeling things. I have been drinking to numb it all. Ive even gone to the extent to mix weed with alcohol which I shouldnt. But then again, I can't sleep.

I feel so much of everything hitting me harder now. Imagine waking up to feel worthless. Not matter. You feel empty and then you need to go on with the day. If I could, I'd take it all away but I can't. At least as of now. I'm biting my tongue and holding onto the rope despite me bleeding from holding on.

I want to let go. Not remember anyone and just go away with the wind.

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bookerdana · M

Please don't.....everyone in the world has gone through something like this.😞 I understand the drinking but alcohol is not your friend and the lack of sleep magnifies everything.

If it gets worse consider please calling the National Suicide Prevention line :988..I believe the website has other resources.....PLEASE🙏 This too will pass.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bookerdana Thank you. I'm trying. It's just that I'm not on the best mindset.

bookerdana · M

@Beatbox34 yes,i get that..anyone you could talk to where you live? Friend/trusted relative,even a counselor? Not good to be alone now

ii know its just an image but its true..never give up

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bookerdana Thank you so much man. I'm genuinely trying hard. There are days where it's so much worse in my head.

I wish things were easier. But Idk if I want to even take on the shit show I'm dealing with. I'm just dead within man.

bookerdana · M

@Beatbox34 you're very welcome🙂

Obviously you're caught in a moment..but you can get out of it.

AS I think I mentioned ,talking it out with a friend ,relative or someone here can be HUGE.
Also I find these things helpful: If you can walk ,fast for as long as you can..though any exercise helps

Music..I think you got this one

shower before bed
If things get really hairy,this might help:https://www.responsecrisiscenter.org/

you can opt to chat,as well as talk..keep us posted,best

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bookerdana I will. Thank you so much for this.

Music is the only strand I have that's keeping me alive.