why does god feel distant from me, how can i stengthen my faith

Well, what I think (some of it) can be better said by Thomas Merton. He, too, was a Catholic. He speaks here of the widespread modern consciousness of Being, derived from Descarte's dictum, [i]cogito, ergo sum[/i], (Latin) - "I think, therefore I am"

[i]It is this kind of consciousness, exacerbated to an extreme, which has made inevitable the so called “death of God.” Cartesian thought began with an attempt to reach God as object by starting from the thinking self. But when God becomes object, he sooner or later “dies,” because God as object is ultimately unthinkable. God as object is not only a mere abstract concept, but one which contains so many internal contradictions that it becomes entirely nonnegotiable except when it is hardened into an idol that is maintained in existence by a sheer act of will. For a long time man continued to be capable of this willfulness: but now the effort has become exhausting and many Christians have realized it to be futile. Relaxing the effort, they have let go the “God-object” which their fathers and grandfathers still hoped to manipulate for their own ends. Their weariness has accounted for the element of resentment which made this a conscious “murder” of the deity. Liberated from the strain of wilfully maintaining an object-God in existence, the Cartesian consciousness remains none the less imprisoned in itself. Hence the need to break out of itself and to meet “the other” in “encounter,” “openness,” “fellowship,” “communion.”[/i]

(From an essay "The New Consciousness" to be found in Merton's book "Zen and the Birds of Appetite")

Maybe your "act of will" is simply meeting a brick wall?

That's it. There are other starting points. Maybe you haven't got a weak faith at all. Maybe you see through the whole load of nonsense that so many have succumbed to, waffling on about their very own "acts of will" which they equate with salvation itself. Maybe the true Source, the true God, [b]IS[/b] speaking to you [i]through[/i] your lack of connection. Paradoxical. But what isn't a paradox?

We don't walk by feelings. We walk by faith. You're not weak in faith. Just learn to trust God more and the way you can do that is to read your Bible and fellowship with him. Reading the Bible grows our faith as we read about how God helped His people and even sinners, who came to Him for help. You don't have to [i]feel[/i] that God is listening, in order to know that in His Word, He always keeps his promises. He said He is [u]always[/u] listening, and He is. He always keeps His promises, so don't allow Satan to make you think that God is not hearing you. And also don't let him tell you that you're too weak in faith because that's what he tries to do to make us feel unworthy and depressed. He wants us to give up talking to God. He doesn't like that at all. He always hears us. Only trust Him. God answers in [b]His[/b] time, when He knows the timing is just right, and in your best interest. Just keep on loving God and keeping the faith. God is no liar. He is trustworthy. Continue to read your Bible as much as you can and having fellowship with God through prayer. And you don't have to be on your knees to talk to God. He loves to fellowship with us and you can talk to him any place you are at, at that moment. Remember that the more you read your Bible and fellowship with the Lord, the more you will grow in faith. It takes time to grow in faith, so don't be hard on yourself. And just speak to God from your heart. No special words have to be spoken. Satan doesn't like it when we're close to the lord. He will tell you that the Lord's not listening or make you believe He's not listening. That's just a devil's lie. Look at the promises of God in the Bible and you will see that.

And don't forget. Sometimes the answer to our prayers linger, because God is getting things ready and in place on the other end, by either working with other people, or getting things lined up, and sometimes His answer has to be no, in order to actually protect us from something that we could not have seen that may have put us in danger, so just trust Him. He always has your best interest at heart. Sometimes His answer may be slow, but God always answers. You may rest assured of that.

Go to the cathedral and just sit there, I do this anytime I need hope and every single time God has caused a miracle for me

Between you and God- the only way to heaven is through Jesus.


https://livingwaters.com/are-you-a-good-person/

Funny, I thought you worshiped the Antichrist known as Trump.