i just want to pour out my anger.

That's life my guy. You gotta play the hand you were given. Don't let aholes determine how you feel about yourself.

At 18-21 you're now old enough to leave home.

It's depressing to feel trapped in an abusive situation. But there are ways to escape other than suicide; ways that offer you the potential to create a good life.

Get yourself a decent paying job. If you're not qualified, get yourself something basic like stacking supermarket shelves and use a portion of salary to train in something you'd prefer to do.
As soon as you have the income, rent a room in a share house with other young adults.

In the meantime, spend time out with friends.
When at home, keep out of your Dad's way as much as possible.
Use a "wall of polite" when you must communicate. This means answering questions directly and briefly. Using phrases like "please", "thank you" and "excuse me" whenever appropriate.
Don't answer back or react when he criticises or insults you; it would only rile him up.
Remember, it's his shit and not your fault that he is that way.

When you leave, pack your bags and make the move while he's out.
Leave him a message.
Let him know that you've moved into a rented share house.
Let him be able to contact you by phone or email, but don't give him your address. Don't give it to your mother or siblings because they might pass it on to him

If there is ever a moment when you feel in danger, leave and go to a friend's place or a women's shelter.

Maybe you mom knows more than she will admit.. is there any way you can go live with her? I don't know what way you father abused you .. but sometimes people refuse to believe stuff about people.. so i'm sorry if you were double wronged by all this 😐

Try going for a run, doing some vigorous gardening, energetic dancing, or bashing a pillow with a hose until you feel tired. This uses up the adrenaline of anger in a very healthy way, and stops the stress and cortisol from lowering your immune system.

i hope you find the strenght to manage the situations you are in and get to the better days ahead of you.. you got this <3

Well u are 18 to 21 nobody is forcing u to live there

Sexually abused? That's heavy stuff. Can you get out of there?

@xenanan Join the army.

🤗