i just want to pour out my anger.

I dont wanna live anymore. Im so sick of this, i just feel so drained every damn time. When my mother left to work at Canada, everything just went downhill. I got abused by my father several times and made my life more miserable but this year, he doesnt act like that anymore, he completely changed.. although his verbal words hurt me very much. My mother is like my therapist, she comforts me everytime but sometimes SHE JUST DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH. SHE SOMETIMES BLAMES IT ALL TO ME AND I DONT EVEN WANNA FUCKING HEAR IT ANYMORE. Everyone in this family doesnt fucking understand me. They just shrug it off because they look down on me like im some piece of shit. I just cant seem to live another day without thinking about killing myself.