why does society want me to live and want me to not commit suicide even though i'm suffering?

I think people don't want others to suicide because it makes them feel bad, like they couldn't/wouldn't/didn't help someone. Yet they won't try to help. Most of the time they can't help anyway.

I wouldn't worry about what society wants from you. I feel similar feelings, but also, this is my life. I'm driving and I'm going my way.

I don't condone suicide because I understand how it feels to be completely hopeless. But it's also a miracle of science that I'm here. There's a lot to learn and understand so I guess I'll do that. I don't know what comes after death but I will know eventually. Why rush it when there's at least some cool shit to do with life.

There are a lot of hardships everywhere.
I am going to pick up teenage girl and have her stay with me for couple of days, because no one is there to look out for her. Her mother is traveling to attend court, suing her father for negligence. They kicked them out of the house to sell it so he can do more drugs and live in hedonism. Her whole life all she knew is getting beaten down.

Life is tough and absurd.

We have to stick around and make it easier when we can.

Everyone has a place in this world some people get sick and pass on before they are ready. I've suffered most of my life too but thanks to my amazing kids I'm thriving now. I suffered for 12 years of my life.
Life will throw you challenges but you will find your place just keep putting yourself out there. Sometimes you have to put the past for behind you to make room for the good. If you ever need to chat pm me

Because ideally you live happily not off yourself ... in what ways are you suffering exactly?

I hear you, right there with you.
I hate that you've experienced what you've experienced and you're wired the way you are to feel this sort of pain too.

Because you don’t want to die really don’t blame it on society ok

Real i wanted to kms ppl kept saying not too