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Latest scammer? Or what?

Yes, it’s true. Every once in a while, I meet somebody that I just click with. And they live close enough to potentially arrange a face-to-face meeting. This latest girl was very interesting. And was enthusiastic to meet. We traded Personal phone numbers and have been communicating offsite for quite a while.

Recently, we decided to meet. With a winter storm canceling our first attempt, the second attempt she confirmed not just once, not just twice but three times that we were still on track. Hotel reservations, bookings for this and that, sent a her few gifts prior to our meeting her home address, flowers, etc. As the date got closer, she started disappearing unreachable for days at a time.

This is a girl that would text me every day multiple times a day. And then nothing. Completely off grid. And then she would come back with some weird excuse like her cell phone was broken and couldn’t get it fixed over the weekend. And then she would resume texting me every day multiple times a day. So I blew it off. And then it happened again, and then it happened a third time. So I questioned it, how can a phone keep breaking while we are in the final days prior to our meeting? But there was no response to the question. No reply to are you still on track. I’m stuck having sent gifts. Made reservations. And bookings that I cannot cancel.

This girl does not have the common courtesy to be truthful and honest. I even asked her are you seeing someone else? It’s OK if you are because we’re just getting to know each other and there’s no expectation of loyalty. Just honesty. She insisted she was not. Yet she kept going off the grid unexplained. After the third time, I suspect she was too ashamed to admit that perhaps she did have a boyfriend or was working two guys simultaneously. Who knows. Either way she wasn’t honest, accepted gifts and didn’t even have the common courtesy to tell me to cancel the reservations while I still could.

Guys, if you are communicating with this girl, please be aware. Be very, very limited on what you commit to and what you spend prior to your first meeting.

Girls if you’re reading this, I don’t ask for much. Just honesty and integrity. Let me know what you’re really doing so we understand what’s going on. Be honest about your situation. It’s OK, we don’t judge. That’s not what Similiar Worlds is about. It’s about meeting like-minded people, and then being honest about everything and then who knows what the future provides. But if you have to lie and deceive, then it reflects poorly on you. If you’re just here fantasizing with no intentions of hooking up in person, say so. Don’t lead a person on thinking there’s going to be a meeting that just never happens. Whatever the case is, honesty is everything.

Why do I make this public? I hope that men perhaps will learn from my mistake. And women reading this will realize how important honesty really is. The integrity that we have to carry with ourselves day and then day out when we look at ourselves in the mirror and say to ourselves, I am a person who… Ought to be positive about ourselves. If you’re looking at yourself in the mirror saying I’m a person who lies, cheats and scams, then you have some real work to do. There’s no room in society for that.

Who is this girl that refuses say what’s really going on?

32DDgirl
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TheThinker · 61-69, M
I say this as kindly as I possibly can, but what did you expect from an account with a provocative handle like that?!

Or the (first!) post in their history that reads "Sending nudes – I would love to share pictures and videos especially with the old men."

Or the one that debates becoming an OnlyFans model?

I'm afraid you need to learn to become a LOT more cynical, old son.

Did you ever speak to them on the phone, or better still see them on cam? If not then it's entirely possible that "she" never existed at all, at least not in the way you thought.

I know it hurts. Over twenty years ago I spent several months getting emotionally involved with a 28yo "woman" travelling the world working cruises, who turned out to be your classic 55yo 350lb male truck driver sat at home in an apartment in Hull (northern UK port town).

Thankfully there was no money involved – nor would I have let there be – it was just for the benefit of his sad little fantasy life. But NEVER again.

Chin up, move on, and keep your wallet closed next time.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@TheThinker fair enough - yes i did talk to her. had per personal phone. and home address. I do background checks on truthfinder.com for anyone i decide to meet in person to make sure they are legit. This one checked out. she didn't pump me for money or gifts - she requested the meeting face to face. I sent the gifts after the meeting arrangement and birthday flowers. The rest of the money was for reservations. that's on me for sure. the thing that upset me more than anything is the direct question: are you dating anyone else? she answered no, and clearly the answer was yes. She was hiding me and likely got herself in a jam once i figured it out. Thanks for your feedback
TheThinker · 61-69, M
@bert199 Fair enough back to you, seems she was either a very sophisticated scammer (or more likely one that didn't care about her RL details being revealed while she scammed people) or, as you say, she actually had multiple people on the go. Maybe both.

I had the latter happen to me with someone I met in RL 15 or so years ago, couldn't work out why she wouldn't commit when we got on like a house on fire. Turned out there were two of us, she couldn't decide, eventually fessed up, dumped both of us, and moved on with her life.

Apologies for thinking that you were more naïve than you were, but I'll leave my message up unedited as a warning to others.

Peace be with you.
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
I think that 32DDgirl is the same progile as Karinamount.
I have chatted with both of them. They disappear for days sometimes longer.
Have you spoke on the phone with her ?
bert199 · 51-55, M
@Midlifemale it’s funny you said that. They both blocked me simultaneously after I posted a dater beware message. Karina states that she’s from Florida. 32ddd states that she’s from New York. I’m not sure if they are the same. I bought a gift for 32ddd girl and she took photos and videos of her with it. And I had it sent to her New York address. Perhaps they know each other and collaborate, but I’m not sure it’s the same person. Karina blocked me out of the blue. Had a very good dialogue going and then poof blocked. So they must be collaborating.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@Midlifemale something that you could check that I can’t see, are they friends with each other? 32DDgirl shows her friends.
TheThinker · 61-69, M
@bert199 Not any more she doesn't... she's turned it off.
Some people just want the online game. They don't want it to spread into real life. That's just how it is. We have to be diligent about that if we decide to try with people online, watch the signs.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@Magicianzini perhaps. But when the person reassures you three times that you’re OK to make the reservations it sounds a pretty clear signal the meeting is on. So it came across as say anything to make sure that I send the gifts. From now on, my rule is no gifts no nothing. If you want to meet, meet. If you don’t want to meet, don’t meet. I’m sure there’s legitimate people here. It’s just tough for me to figure out one from the other I guess.
@bert199 Words are cheap. You've got to watch the actions. At least you're making changes (no gifts in future) .. that's good. If you try to mess with people online enough you eventually can ID the signs. Unfortunately in the process of learning, you're also getting burnt.
MellyMel22 · F
Maybe the hotel thing made her uncomfortable? To be expected to share a room the first time meeting?

Still, she could’ve been honest and told you she changed her mind.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@MellyMel22 she was coming out for three days. She was going to be sleeping at my house for two of them. And she did not know about the hotel. I’m pretty sure it didn’t matter.
MellyMel22 · F
@bert199 Idk. Maybe she just chickened out
Younameit · F
What is 32DD girl?

And if you met her on here I’m not even sure if they’re a girl at all. Have you video called her? Or at least called her?
bert199 · 51-55, M
@Younameit 32DDgirl is a Similiar worlds account. You can search the name and find her profile. Remember, she never asked for money. And she never asked for gifts. I did that on my own after we had a meeting date set up. Yes I have talked to her. The home address she gave me is legit. Packages were delivered. And she even sent a video of her with one of the gifts. So if she’s faking it, she’s doing a good job. But doesn’t seem fake. Seems like a girl with too many irons in the fire and got caught and wasn’t honest about it. What brought it to head was we are closing in on the date she was to come here. And she went off the radar for almost 2 weeks. Unreachable. Which makes a guy who’s making reservations a bit nervous. Especially when I have other irons in the fire and I’m telling them now. The point is. She went off the grid three times. The first time she made up a story about her phone, not working. The second time she said she had trouble with her phone again. Each one of those was three or four days. The third time she was gone for 10 days. That’s a long time to have a phone problem so a guy gets suspicious. I had asked her after the first time if she was seeing somebody else. And I told her it was OK if she was. There’s no expectation of over the Internet monogamy. That would be silly. I fully expect her to be entertaining offers from other men as I would be entertaining opportunities with other women. I asked her to be honest and above board with it, and if she was going away on a date for three days to just say so, but she insisted she was not. So she lied. And she got caught in her line. She put me in a position where I was nervous about the reservations and whether or not she was actually coming. After the 10th day, I left her some messages that probably either embarrassed her or shamed her to the point, she didn’t want to communicate at all. Even though I was telling her it’s OK just to confirm the reservation. So I hope this makes sense. It seems real. It just seems like somebody who’s playing too many men and it didn’t work out for her. The only reason I’m posting it publicly is in case she’s working other guys. Not necessarily for money but to make commitments and not follow through is really disruptive to a guy with a professional life and a family life who’s got a lot of balls in the air.
What you got her a few gifts and you think she now owes you face to face time? No one made you spend the money..

She doesn’t rly owe you anything. She doesn’t sound like she wants to meet you. Leave her alone.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@deathfairy it was her idea to meet. Setting up the meeting required some commitments, some reservations, some financial commitments. The idea to meet came first. The whole point of my post is to be honest about what you’re really doing. And if you’re not going to follow through with the meeting say so so I have time to back out of the reservations versus losing the money. The other point is to be honest about your situation. Neither happened. No she doesn’t owe me a meeting. That was never said. She does owe me honesty.
Yeah, I do see your point. She should have been honest, but if she is younger, and honestly sounds that way, she can’t be honest yet. And you should have known better.. @bert199
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
She lives close enough but you made hotel reservations for a simple meeting? Make it make sense. I'd be out the door when she started acting flaky. She's either married or otherwise involved and likely looking for a fling, at best, and is terrible at working it.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@uncalled4 she offered to drive to my city. I made some reservations downtown and didn’t want to drink and drive home. So I picked up a cool hotel room downtown for one of the nights. Just a matter of not drinking and driving.
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RedBaron · M
Seems like you’re a person too quick to trust someone you don’t know very well.
4meAndyou · F
Well, Bert...if you haven't learned at your age NOT to send expensive gifts to total strangers...you should learn it now!
4meAndyou · F
@bert199 I'm in a mood...but I do apologize. Can I have the candy now? 🤣🤣🤣
WellFrog · 56-60, M
@bert199 All too often. especially when someone who is an eloquent wrier like yourself. those who take the time to respond have zeroed in on the wrong aspects of the narrative with unshakable laser focus. Then it is though that lens of misapprehension that they present their thoughts. Challenging this, attempting to correct expressed perceptions tends, in my own experience. to simply create a perceived personal attack.

Another lesson here is why back when I took the SATs in my youth, it immediately struck me that one section was " Reading and Comprehension". The "AND" be ones clearly something of a lost art as most today, be it in online forums or interoffice communication, fail miserably at catching the salient points and somehow latch on to some other element. Comprehension is, to our discredit as a society, a lost art.

I will offer a sole criticism based fully on your actual post, calling the woman out by her SW screenname plays rather self-serving given the level to which she gave you so much personal data like her phone number (something most guard online as vehemently as they might their Social Security number) suggests that your experience is a unique circumstance more than an emerging trend. You share at length the events that transpired couched as a cautionary tale, which is admirable. Publishing her screenname undermines your efforts. If she proved herself a gold digging scammer playing this out with dozens of men here on a daily basis, a by-name call out would play more admirable.
bert199 · 51-55, M
@WellFrog again missing the point of the post. It’s not about the money spent. I’ve said this over and over. Perhaps I need to rewrite the post and take less emphasis off the money spent. The money spent is disappointing, but not at the end of the world. The disappointment is the lack of honesty and transparency. That’s the only point of the post.
WildBill25 · 26-30, M
There's one born every minute...

 
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