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Helping people

Poll - Total Votes: 17
Keep being kind
Stop doing anything for anybody
Show Results
You can only vote on one answer.
It seems like the more I do for people, the less they appreciate it and just come to expect me to take care of everything. And this includes family.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
That is true.

It gets exhausting at some point. And yet, you love them so you keep being there anyway. I also don't know if there is a balance possible.

Caring for people makes them lazy.
But then you feel bad if you stop.
Now I'm trying this thing to only give/talk when asked/addressed to one person. Let's how long I can last lol
As I see it, I can either let others define me or be who I am.

If I do something anticipating sincere thanks or reciprocity, I am setting myself up for disappointment.
@Casheyane Do we always give thanks for all we receive?
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@Mamapolo2016 Some try. But I see what you mean.

God must have a long list of things we didn't say thank you for.
@Casheyane Endless.
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
Stop doing things for people who don't appreciate you /takes you for granted.
LadyGrace · 70-79
@Queendragonfly That's best advice!
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@LadyGrace I understand where OP is coming from. If you've built your identity and value through being useful to others, you'll feel "Who am I?" without it. And it's a tough change.
LadyGrace · 70-79
@Queendragonfly True, that! And if you're a people pleaser, you'll lose yourself.
smiler2012 · 56-60
{@mbingh01] you probably like doing things to help others and that is vey a kind a chritian way too think .but alas some are sadly lazy and not family orientated and will gladly sit back and take no resposibility😣
SW-User
I do kind things without expectations of getting anything in return
acpguy · C
@SW-User I have done that with close friends that I felt I could trust or just to help them out. I once lent a friend $500 to help him start a business as he was a good guy and I had no expectation of getting it back, 10 years later his business did very well during that time and I got $5000 back as he said I had a part interest in his business with the money I lent him and he was buying my part out. He also knew I was going through a messy divorce and could use the money at that time.
PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
Personally I don't care if they expect it or not but I am not changing the way I am.
nacnud · 36-40, M
The phrase used to be 'do something once for someone it is appreciated, do something for someone a lot it becomes expected'

It can often be more complicated depending on scenario and situation. Your heart is in the right place wanting to help but make sure to take care of yourself as well as it can easily lead to burnout if you take on too much.
SW-User
That's why I am very selective about who to help
Busybee333 · 31-35, F
Keep being kind AND stop doing anything for anybody ;)
Continuing to be kind involves the responsibility of learning your limits and not taking more tan you can handle.
If you take too much, it has the opposite effect.
Besides, some people need to learn some things on their own.
Be kind and also let live :)
SW-User
A good deed done expecting reward is not a good deed at all. That said, while it's admirable to be kind to others, remember to be kind to yourself, as well. Give what you can, but always be careful not to give too much.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
I can't help you here. I decided for myself to only help those who have never failed to help me when I needed it ...which turns out to be a very short list. Everyone else can go to hell.
originnone · 61-69, M
The most common response I see is that you shouldn't do the things you do in anticipation of not being treated as poorly....IDK....just repeating what I've seen....
firefall · 61-69, M
ESPECIALLY family

Nevertheless, keep doing it - because the internal strife you inflict on yourself if you stop, is at least as unpleasant
Doomflower · 36-40, M
Maybe a middle ground. Work on your boundaries. I'm in the same boat.
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