Love & Attraction

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I love being single

Never imagined, I would ever say that, but I do. Yes, I have been hurt way too many times in relationships in the past, and because of that has dragged me further down. I will not go down that road again. Staying single and practicing self love, has allowed me to protect myself from ever getting hurt again and to be cautious of others. For the first time in a long time, I see my own beauty from the inside and out. Since focusing on myself, I can fully say that I completely understand what true happiness and true love is, because I have found it within myself. I love myself so much.

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zonavar68 · 56-60, M Best Comment

If you can fully embrace being single and living only for yourself any other people that *you* choose to include in your life (which could be a lover, or children, or special friends) will hopefully be on your level, so you will be free and happy with positive inclusions.

I've been learning to embrace that since mid-2018 and success in life at a single person is a very strong thing.

As for sex, intimacy, romantic adult-type elationships, etc. I've decided I really don't need them to be happy and positive in life. I am not social and don't do friends like women tend to.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@zonavar68 Yes, very well said.

SalttyDawg · 70-79, M

Self love takes the edge off but I have found it’s nothing like the real thing. The feel of a woman in my arms giving her pleasure and her giving me pleasure is the best.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@SalttyDawg That’s fine if that works for you, but personally for me, that’s just not my thing.

SalttyDawg · 70-79, M

@NaturalBeautyQueen
I understand. It’s difficult for some to separate love from sex

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@SalttyDawg Yeah

Wolffy · 56-60, M

I understand kind of feel the same way but I still miss having someone to share my path with and go for walks and hugs and just a small things

SJones48 · 41-45, M

Me too. It’s easier not having to worry about having lots of money for family. I’m not saying that it in a negative way

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@SJones48 I get it.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

I can understand. After 47 years of a sometimes difficult marriage, I am comfortable with my own company.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@novaguy2u that’s great to hear. Nothing wrong with having your own company. I can understand that as well.

This message was deleted by the author of the main post.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@in10RjFox First of all, if a relationship is nothing more than just a game, then I don’t want it. I’m not interested in playing games with people, I am way too old for that. Secondly, I wouldn’t walk inside of a burning building knowing that the stakes of me getting hurt, are very high. Having a relationship doesn’t mean happiness. Before being in any successful relationship, you have to first find comfort and love within yourself.

And what if I am the horse, and didn’t like the way I was treated? So what? And so what if I have a fear of getting hurt again? Theirs is still nothing wrong with taking time to figure yourself out, and choosing to be happy self love, over a relationship, that may or may not fail.

I’m sorry that you don’t know what self love feels like.

This message was deleted by the author of the main post.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@in10RjFox I’m not most women. I don’t want to be driven and I am not interested in looking for someone, I have to tame. That’s a waste of my time and energy.

Self love may be a hallucination in your book, but it’s not in mine. I’ve been single, celibate and happy for going on 10 years now, and I’m still not bored of it. In fact, I am enjoying my life more, because I get the freedom to do what I want for myself.

And who said I don’t have love in my life? I have my family, my supporters, my friends, my kids. That’s more than enough love for me.

JackOatMon · 46-50, M

Have to love yourself, more important than anything else

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@JackOatMon So true

Wizardry · 46-50, M

Like being single as well. More freedom etc

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Wizardry agreed. The freedom is amazing.

Wizardry · 46-50, M

@NaturalBeautyQueen especially for being nude as well

Donotfolowme · 51-55, F

I felt truly free when I got out of a stressful unfaithful relationship in 2010 every passing moment was a breath of fresh air. Then again I attracted more weirdos and life got back on track of misery 😂

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Donotfolowme I can understand that.

Barebum61 · 61-69, M

Wanna date ..jk😂

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Barebum61 😂

Northwest · M

What is self-love?

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Northwest Self love is learning and knowing to love yourself.

Northwest · M

@NaturalBeautyQueen

love yourself

If you mean to accept and appreciate all parts of yourself, including flaws, by practicing self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, taking care of your physical and mental health, recognizing your strengths, forgiving yourself for mistakes, and treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a loved one; essentially, building a positive relationship with yourself where you feel worthy and valued regardless of external factors, great.

But being in a relationship doesn't preclude you from doing that. The former gives you a better shot at getting into a healthy relationship.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Northwest That may be for those that want a relationship. For me, having a relationship does not interest me. It’s been almost 10 years, since I’ve been without a relationship, and I like where I’m at.

SmileOnYourBrother

In my experience, the reward is not worth the effort.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@SmileOnYourBrother I don’t know if I would call being in a relationship a reward lol. They cause too much pain and drama in my opinion. 😂

Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M

Being single has its perks and for the moment is pretty ok for me. Just wish my mom would stop pushing me to date people 🙄

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Moneyonmymind I’m sorry to hear that about your mom pushing you. I had to put my foot down with my family and tell them, that I’m not interested in dating anybody.

Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M

@NaturalBeautyQueen i get she wants me to be happy but not everyone is meant for dating

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Moneyonmymind exactly, do whatever makes you happy.

Ashly · 26-30, F

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NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Ashly Yes, I’ve been single and celibate for going on 10 years, and its been the best decision, I’ve ever made, because it has led me to focus on self love. It can be difficult at first, but you’ll have to decide on what would you prefer.

Ashly · 26-30, F

@NaturalBeautyQueen I can’t do that ☹ I want a husband and kids and even tho I’m single now I never loose hope, even though some days I feel like they may not happen 😕

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

@Ashly There’s nothing wrong with wanting a husband and kids, if that is what you really want.

For me personally, I have kids, but I don’t ever want to be married. That is something I gave a good thought about and feel at peace with that. Celibacy is a practice that came easy for me, because I never liked having sex with men, to be honest. I wholeheartedly thought about what marriage would look like for me, if I had a husband, with my kids and came to realize it’s just not for me. For me, all I saw was misery, but that’s just me.

I would encourage you, if you hadn’t already, to think about what marriage with kids, would look like for you, be realistic about it, and if that is something you really want, then do it. But in the meantime, spend your time while single, to focus on loving yourself, until you have an understanding what real love is, and to also be patient and the right person will come along. Good luck to you.

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