Shattered beyond belief

I've posted here before about it, but my girlfriend of 5 years has been cheating on me nonstop and has finally decided to leave, I'm beside myself with grief and a mountain of debt from the relationship that is just unreal, I wish I could make everything better but I cant, it all happened because she cant stand my son from another marriage, how can someone hate a child so much that they would make the father choose, the choice is simple...

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Carlisle · F

Their in lies your answer she’s a cheater who doesn’t accept your son
And honestly son or not
Why cheat she could have left
Ohh this makes me angry
Mate you had a lucky escape
Take some time out
Be kind to yourself
You have had a narrow escape

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Carlisle · F

@ddmagnum I’m so sorry you are in this situation.
Has this happened before?
Really don’t value yourself on wether a cheater leaves or stays. Value your self respect and she abused it.

ddmagnum · 31-35, M

@Carlisle from relationship number one when I was 12 my girlfriend was seeing my so called friends behind my back, 16 my girlfriend cheated on me, my ex wife did before she left, the few relationships in between they did, and now this, I'm messed up over love, I love deeply and I forgive and try to move on and im just this magnet for shit...

Carlisle · F

@ddmagnum when I went through some stuff intensive therapy really helped me. Changed my life

LadyGrace · 70-79

Been through this. If you're going to heal and recover, you're going to have to tell yourself the truth, though it hurts like crazy, or you'll never heal. You'll just stay stuck the rest of your life, and that you don't want.

The child was just an excuse. If she was a good friend/person/woman, and genuine and trustworthy, she wouldn't have drained you dry financially then took off. ONLY ONE YEAR of known cheating is enough, let alone, one day! Who needs a cheater? What you lost is a user and cheater, and I'm so sorry you were used like that, but it's not love you lost. What's grieving you, is not the loss of the girl, but what you THOUGHT you had with her. Now you see it was all a lie, so you're in shock and need to heal. You're hurt over that dream/fantasy loving relationship you only thought you had. And that hurts bad. Im so sorry for your suffering.

I see much time has passed. How are you now?

SammyJo · 51-55, F

Erhhhh.....the comment that she cheated because of your son? Hmmmmmm...not so. I think you'll find that she cheated because she was just that; a cheater!

So, just don't take that bit to heart. In terms of the debts, which should be something that you need to concentrate on, just make yourself a plan - a budget - get in touch with whomever you need to and explain what has happened; most companies are happy to revise payments...as long as they get paid in the long run, right?

In terms of your heart though.....wished I could give you a hug and say that you'll find the right girl....the perfect girl....for you. It'll happen...

Keep on keepin' on...

SJD xx

ddmagnum · 31-35, M

@SammyJo she ultimately left me because she kept fighting with him, Hes 8 mind you, I'm hoping to get things in better order I've just been in debt this entire year and I've been trying my damndest to get ahead... and the debt came from when she lost her job and I maxed out everything to get us by, but shes cheated on me with at least 3 guys, and I'm stupid enough to forgive

SW-User

@ddmagnum

and I'm stupid enough to forgive

This is not me trying to be mean but yes that was dumb. However that's over and done with now you've got an 8 and 2 year old look to out for.

Now mate. You have to be responsible. You cannot just give your heart out to a woman simply because she's there you have got to make them earn you. I saw your reply about how people cheat on you constantly and you keep forgiving, sir that's because you let that mess happen.

You cannot allow yourself to be treated like a door mat your kids might see that and take after you. Cut that nonsense out. Be a man. A woman must earn your love and even then, she must know that you're willing to walk away if need be. We aren't in some movie where talking about loving hard is some sort of romantic gesture, this is the real world and there are kids involved and they need a semblance of stability.

Choose your partners wisely a be a man.

SammyJo · 51-55, F

@SW-User Exactly! It's give and take....and relationships are hard! They're not all fluffy; there's low points and difficult points as well as the good bits...and commitment to each other and the relationship is the important thing.

Without that, there's no relationship...no bond.

I've never believed in the 'treat them mean, keep them keen' school of relationships, more the taking time out to discuss things regularly.

With children involved, well....those are the priority now...

@ddmagnum I wish you well, babe, and hope you find that right person...

😘

SJD x

Crazywaterspring · 61-69, M

If someone comes with a child, that kid is part of the deal. Don't like the kid? Goodbye. No debate or second thoughts.

ddmagnum · 31-35, M

@Crazywaterspring that's what I thought too, but people are fickle

SW-User

Your son has nothing to do with this. She's a cheater plain and simple. Your son was just an excuse.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

You did the right thing if you ask me. Someone who can't have empathy for a child and cannot stay loyal is something to not look into.

Don't dwell on what she did. Instead continue being a good father to your kid. In time, you'll find the right one.

ddmagnum · 31-35, M

@Beatbox34 the shitty part is we have a kid together too, a 2 year old, and I'm trying to keep it together for her sake

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PhaqueYou · M

File chapt 7. No joke, best thing you'll ever do, I've done that.

& piss on her, you have been lanced a festering boil of drama.

Find a bankruptcy lawyer in your region.

ddmagnum · 31-35, M

@PhaqueYou I've considered it, I just wouldn't know where to start without getting shafted

SW-User

You need to find yourself and some confidence.

I let myself forgive a cheater too many times in my early life. Later on... I realized that it really affected me and my later relationships.

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