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I Am Lonely

Anyone else feel like marriage has been the loneliest time of their life? We have 4 incredible kids at home so I don’t feel like leaving is an option right now, but I miss feeling important to someone. Tomorrow is our 9 year anniversary and he doesn’t want to do anything. What sucks is I’m actually a pretty awesome person- endlessly selfless towards him, pretty great mom, entrepreneur, funny, intelligent... yet he can’t stop watching YouTube long enough to notice me. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Lonely, party of 1 🎉
Moria810 · 56-60, F
So sorry to hear this honey. But unfortunately, a lot of people are lonely in marriage. My husband's life revolves around his dog. He shares a bedroom with his dog, focuses on his dog during meals, can't wait to get home to his dog when he's been away, etc. I started finding my own hobbies and making my own friends. I check the websites and papers every week for community activities to participate in. Since you have kids you can take them places and make memories with them.

Otherwise, you can attempt to draw your husband closer. Surprise him with candlelit dinner or fruit and cheese plate and wine, movie night, etc.
YaBaas · 41-45, M
I feel the same way. a couple months back was our 10th anniversary and we didn't have a party or advertise it on social media. what we found was that if we didn't make a fuss about it, no one including our parents and siblings remembered. It pretty much ended up being just another day and my other day couldn't wait long enough to go spend time with her friends rather than me. i have tried to share the youtube interest with her and it has helped or improved some social communication between us. Having kids is a blessing, i agree and i feel the same way that having two parents in the home makes things better for kids. Where do you draw the line though? when does your needs become a priority? This is the question i've been asking myself as i face reality that it will be another 12 years before my son is an adult. i can not imagine what its like to have four kids and feeling alone at the same time. i'm getting emotional just thinking about it. ❤️
krissychick · 36-40, F
Yeah I definitely want to put the kids needs first but have felt like I’m going crazy lately, thought maybe I would find some sanity online if there’s others going through this... 💙@YaBaas
YaBaas · 41-45, M
@krissychick I'm looking to strangers as well who are sharing the same pain. Counseling will only work if both parties are willing. Remember you are also an individual with your own needs. Careful not to become self destructive though.
zerofuks2give · 41-45, M
I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds like you two need to have a chat. 19 years here and I would be lost without her. I hope you guys work things out.
Mguinm · 51-55, F
It's sad and unfortunate. So many people are in these types of marriages these days. *hugs*
Understood....very much so. 🤗
@FigNewton It looks like you're getting some decent advice here. But no one can really know your personal situation...only relay their similar experiences (like I could...definitely). Just know that you're not alone...many of us you can vent to.
krissychick · 36-40, F
Well, I’m sorry you’ve experienced similar but glad for the company to vent to 😂💙@FigNewton
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
you might try sending him a letter about your feelings i know that sounds funny but its more personal that way its tanagable proof that the marriage is in trouble he might get a shock and maybe realize what your talking about people remember what they read far more than what they hear
FORMERLYbatovn · 61-69, M
I would suggest some counseling. But understand it must start with a conversation at home and a joint decision to work at repairing the marriage or get the issues in the table for discussion. I wish you all the best.
krissychick · 36-40, F
We started with counseling but he doesn’t want to go anymore. So I go by myself to figure out ways to cope and help our family be as normal as possible. Definitely was my first go to, wish he was more open to it! @FORMERLYbatovn
76starships · 46-50, M
Sorry to hear it. I know that feeling, of being surrounded by people that depend on you but still feeling so alone.
JohnTaylor · 22-25, M
Have you told him any of this?
krissychick · 36-40, F
Yes, I’ve told him all of this. He’s just not interested in a relationship anymore I guess. @JohnTaylor
@krissychick Sorry to hear this. It's too often the case, someone not appreciating what they have until it's too late. Often when the other has had enough and finds new love. Then miraculously they then want to change and pay attention. It's too late by then.
SW-User
That sucks. Sorry to hear that.
Very sad , sorry for your pain
Ninersfan73 · 51-55, M
It’s a tough thing to go through when one wants one thing and the other does not. It happens a lot and it’s so common for people to say they grew apart when the real fact is that one just got lazy and got done trying. It’s a constant battle to keep up interest but it’s worth it if both are working at it
SW-User
Sorry to hear about that.
Feuerstern · 51-55, M
The loneliest I have ever been in my life is when I was married. So to answer your question... Yes.
krissychick · 36-40, F
@Feuerstern I'm so sorry to hear that :(
Feuerstern · 51-55, M
@krissychick No worries, that's life. I learned what really matters and what doesn't.
Leftyss · 56-60, M
Looks like you two need to talk
krissychick · 36-40, F
We have, a million times. He’s just not interested anymore. @Leftyss
Leftyss · 56-60, M
@krissychick i know the feeling. So sorry
Feuerstern · 51-55, M
@krissychick So sad that he is not interested anymore.
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
been feeling like that of years i think im an outsider looking in

 
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