Is it stupid that I'm so damn nervous about this..?

We have two months to decide if we're moving, and now I'm literally panicking when thinking about moving out of our current safe neighborhood, because most of my city is filled with traumatic memories, and the people that caused some of them..

Like I said I looked at one apartment and found it my ex lives there.. I then looked up the second guy that raped me (he's the only one from my city), and he lives in another neighborhood that I've also looked at a few apartments at.. So now I don't want to move to either of those places..

I tried to find my "childhood friend" that latest threatened me a few years ago, and I can't find his info so I have no idea where he is🥹

Like, I know that it most likely wouldn't matter.. Time has passed, people move on, life goes on and so on, but my cptsd don't move with that timeline.. I'm still scared of these people, specially the last two.

I don't think either would hurt me now, but that don't mean I wanna be their neighbor nor wanna see them..

Idk, I think I'm just overthinking and stressing myself out..

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DrWatson · 70-79, M

This is not stupid at all.

There is a reason trauma is called "trauma."

I know some women who were abused by their father (while they were young and living at home.) They eventually went to the police, and there was a restraining order for him to move out and remain away from them. Even so, they never could feel relaxed until after he was put in prison, and they finally felt assured that he could not bother them again.

So , when you say you are overthinking -- yes, that might be true from a "detached, rational" point of view, but hopefully you can acknowledge that this is perfectly understandable given your experience and can have some compassion toward yourself about this. You are not stupid. And you have to do what makes you comfortable, and if that means being super careful about where to move to, then so be it.

SinlessOnslaught · M

One thing is for sure, you're very proactive about staying safe. These things are good to be aware of. Just try not to spend too much energy panicking about them. I know it's hard. But you're very good at spotting safety risks, so that's one thing to feel secure in, okay?

Cassieeee · 31-35, F

@SinlessOnslaught I asked a friend if it's possible to find out if someone is in jail😅 She's a detective, and I kinda have a feeling that guy might be locked up again (or maybe I'm hoping for it..)^^ Is that bad? I feel bad for thinking like that.. Maybe he's a good guy now..

SinlessOnslaught · M

@Cassieeee No, that's the whole reason we have law enforcement, to get dangerous people off the streets.

Well, not so much in my country anymore but you get my point. 😆

No, it's not bad. 🤗

smiler2012 · 61-69

{@cassieeee] 🤔yes i can understand your dilemma it must be ;like going out of the frying pan into the fire 🤷‍♂rather a difficult call for you to make sadly

Convivial · 26-30, F

Sad choice to have to make...

Pretzel · 70-79, M

it's not stupid it's ptsd

it's very real

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