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How would you react if your woman surprised you with a abortion?

How would you feel if you were sleeping with a steady girlfriend for a year, everything was going great, moved in together, and one day you get back and see her sleeping early in bed. You crawl in under the covers and start running your fingers along her hips, and she lovingly rolls away from you, turning her back saying "Not tonight honey, I just had a abortion" and then falls asleep like nothing just happened.
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Primnproper · 56-60, F
I’d be asking myself why there wasn’t a conversation and maybe looking at what’s wrong in the relationship and if you can go forward from it.
I would personally never condone that without discussing it with the father of the child whether it’s supposed to be our bodies or not. That is not acceptable.
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@ffony I'm not guessing. I asked an honest, non rhetorical question. You could see it as two but it's basically all one in this context. However, you best understand it, it's still a simple, honest request for information, not a guess.
ffony · M
@TexasDude Now I understand why someone suggested we should pray for Texas 😄.

There may be ways in which I would consider 2 humans 'equal' but you'd have to be much more specific and I'd have to know them quite well.

As for the 'value' of a human - even one I know real well: I have no idea how to put a number to that, or even what sort of units a person could use.

Those are honest, thoughtful, non-rhetorical answers.

As for context, it seems yours is not mine, so this 'discussion' is pointless.
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@ffony Seriously, why do people on the internet have to be so juvenile? "Pray for Texas..."all the Texas insults are just childish.

And I find it extremely disturbing that you don't automatically think all humans are equal. That you'd need any details beyond "human" is creepy. That's how racism and similar bigotry starts.

Anyway, the real point of all this is how wrong abortion is because it's wrong to kill an innocent human being
Bleak · 36-40, F
Why haven’t you married her??
If she's serious Id leave her on the spot.
@swirlie Assisted actually, surgery tech. You?
swirlie ·
@TallMtnMedic
I was asking @Tiredish
@swirlie Sorry working, all I saw was "Have you had an abortion?" not who.

Anyway...back to work.
I would keep on the lookout for flying unicorns, because I've obviously fallen into some kind of fairy tale

I would feel like it was obviously a personal decision.........and one not taken lightly............and she was dealing with that decision...also obviously. And I would know now was not the time to play 20 questions. If she WANTED to discuss it later......sit and listen.......but it is her decision and by the time that talk happened it already was unchangeable........so no guilt trips.

Then I would realize if it was not for health reasons............she DID NOT want my baby And that is a whole new issue to deal with.
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I mean its her body and unless you have a ‘legal’ right on her ,you shouldn’t expect to know what she does to her body (outside the bedroom)whether its an abortion or regularly taking prescribed drugs.
Having said that ,there must be a trust issue that she has over you ,thats why she never told you in the first place .Way more serious than just an abortion .
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@TexasDudeokay, Assuming she didn’t abort and gave birth to a child and after a few months or years (chances are few) but if they break up and separate?who’s responsibility will it be then ?His wallet ,her wallet ?
or the child will be left with a trauma that most children go through ?
or the parents ,will leave their own search for a partner and half rear a child with half values and ethics only to grow up in a hostile environment?

All I am saying is a child needs a family and unless there’s that support,both of then should take a call .
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@Caleidoscope Nothing you said justifies killing an innocent baby. You can't kill someone based on "what if." Lots of people suffer in this life, some horribly but we can't know that before birth. And if you are alive things can get better...they can't if you are dead
TexChik · F
I would not be able to trust her again. There should have been a conversation about something so important as the life of our child.
I’m assuming you never planned on having a child. I do wonder why she didn’t feel comfortable enough to converse with you about the situation that arose
being · 36-40, F
Why have you two grown distant... why she didn't discuss about it..
JesseInTX · 51-55, M
The issue of abortion is much more than a “woman’s right to choose” and that gets over looked a whole lot. Two people agreed to have sex, two people made a baby. Two people should make the decision. There are exceptions than can be handled in the 96 hours after sex.
TexasDude · 31-35, M
A) Id have married her by that point. B) Id be devastated and our relationship might be over. She would have just killed my son or daughter and that's...that's beyond horrible.
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@swirlie And I'm waiting for you to stop being rude and/or stop name calling. I refuse to reward rudeness with an answer
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@RedGrizzly For what it's worth, I'm extremely sorry you endured SA. No one deserves that and I'm glad to see you apparently healed enough to talk about it
swirlie ·
@TexasDude
...but you're okay with a girl in Texas NOT getting an abortion who's been raped and impregnated by her father or brother, right TexasBoy?

You and those who wear cowboy hats where you live are the definition of the extreme Right-wing of America who live and think just like King George III of Great Britain whom all your ancestors fled from..
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
That's why I don't date Democrats
I’d be very very angry … To me, if I was a man, that would be one unforgivable act by her ..
CactusJackManson · 51-55, M
FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M
Something terrible happened to a co-worker and that's pretty much how one of the managers gave me the news...must be the new way to tell people bad news.
Maybe she wasn't so "steady". What I mean is, if she felt there was no need to inform you ... maybe there WAS no need.

Get it?
Fertilization · 36-40, F
Since she was a steady gf, it is okay.
ffony · M
I might say 'What - you were pregnant?' and 'How did that happen?'
Use a condom if you don't want children.
There should at least be a discussion first
ffony · M
Asking for a friend?
MaryJo1996 · 26-30, F
It'd be bloody weird to say the least.
ffony · M
You can't kill someone based on "what if."
Nations do it all the time, often with public approval.
ffony · M
@Handfull1 If you're suggesting that one problem with applying the death penalty is the fact that it could be (has been) an irreversible miscarriage of justice, I definitely agree.
TexasDude · 31-35, M
@Handfull1 Not really. Usually there is sufficient evidence to convict. That doesn't compare at all to an unborn child who has dobe absolutely nothing
Handfull1 · 61-69, F
@TexasDude it’s a human life. Death is death. You can pretend it doesn’t compare but it does.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
That's a pretty brutal story.
swirlie ·
To many women, having an abortion is just another form of birth control. If you don't practice 'safe sex' with your girlfriend, then don't sound so surprised the next time she practices her own solution to your lack of awareness to otherwise have safe sex with her.
Tiredish · 41-45, F
@swirlie She should discuss it with him beforehand if they actually have a relationship.

If she didnt, then there is no open communication, and trust is broken.

As far as 'safe sex', yeah he shouldnt be surprised that she was pregnant.
Handfull1 · 61-69, F
@swirlie that’s where the problem lies. It should never be just another form of birth control.

 
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