Are you self aware enough to know when you are the problem

I'm aware of a few factors at least, but changing is even harder than admitting it to others or yourself.

I really try to be.
And I agree 100% with you... look no further than here, where every other comment or post is about what [i]someone else [/i]did or is doing.

Good post.

I think that the root problem is that we all like to be the heroes of our life stories, and so people tend to

• boost the importance of what they've done
• over-emphasize their successes (even if marginal or not really much of anything)
• link themselves to important/high-profile events, ppl, etc.

and

• soft-pedal help they got, how simple something was, etc.
• under-emphasize their failures or always paint themselves as the valiant heroes being assailed by a sea of troubles (always caused by others), even if all evidence points to them
• distance themselves from any other failures, etc.

And

[i][b]It is hardest to see ONESELF clearly, because we sit only in our own heads, so we have inherently selfish points of view, and make excuses for ourselves ALL THE TIME.[/b][/i]

If you can look at yourself honestly, and see the good and the bad, you are blessed. 😊

Indeed. It might take me awhile, 😆 and some acceptance sometimes goes much farther than advice. I’m to the point I want to make my own damn mistakes. So when people start handing out advice, I’m critical of it. As is my right it’s my head. That might mean resistance because I feel underestimated often. Nobody really knows what anybodys life has been like. When try give advice, you have to be careful. Because you don’t know where someone’s mind is.

I try to simply acknowledge them. Because we are all human no matter our differences.

And people might be stubborn etc but they are learning. We are all learning. Nobody is winning or losing.

Yes. It was very hard at first. I had to kill my ego for this. But it is extremely liberating now that I can accept my flaws in order to work on them. I have learnt to apologize to people and to confront my ugly side. It is the best thing I ever did for myself.

According to my sister, I'm always the problem. 😂

I assume I am always the blame for whatever I do.

I'd say I'm pretty self aware. I know when I'm the problem & I'll admit it. I just struggle figuring out how to deal with it. Plus I struggle a lot with thinking I'm not good enough to get past it.

Quite honestly, it's pretty rare that someone gives me advice I don't already know. So when I vent I'm not usually looking for advice.. I just want to be felt & understood

It's not super simple. Typically people are like this because of many reasons but it becomes a part of their own survival instincts and beliefs at some point in their life. Probably started along time ago from whatever experiences they've had. Not an easy thing to do anything about unless they have a desire to change.

So acutely aware that it's debilitating...

I am now, yes.
There was a time I wasn't though. It was both eye opening and liberating to awaken to it.

Very much so although I may falter at times. Finding out my personality type (infj) is where it all began. I finally understood a lot of "why's" and "what's" to certain behavior(s) & toxic traits so I could stop them and it made allowance to use the good traits. Still though, I know I'm analytical and have a need for çlarity that can cause conflict or confuse others, so I try to tread more softly. In all, I hold more accountability and also have no issues with apologizing for the slightest offense.

Great post!😉

Yep, I know where I went wrong, I self analyse all the time, I’m very hard on myself. ☹️

My ex had no self awareness, or very little, he was never to blame for anything.
All my fault.

It's about how loved and accepted they feel by their family and peers. That's where it starts.

Yes. Very true. I have at least one situation in my past where I was in denial.

I know when i get angry i make wrong decision, i don't look after myself that's another problem...plus sometimes i don't feel easy.... earlier my emotions use to make it difficult for me to focus....
I believe one should keep his ego and stubborness, tiredness, emotions aside and work as a Karma Yogi!

It’s very hard to get through to someone like that… you usually get a defensive reaction.

I’m probably more self aware than most… but it’s been a long journey to get there.

Indeed. I have a close relative who has no self-awareness and constantly blames everyone/everything for his problems. It's a sad way to live your life. 😞

Totally. I've realised a few things recently in regards to myself I wasn't aware of. It can be hard to see through the fog when you're complacent and comfortable.

In real life im not the problem, im the solution. Here i go out of my way to be a problem, bc people dont pay attention very well.

It took me until I was maybe 25 to come to this realization. And then again at 29

I am aware. I do a SWOT analysis many times.

If I was ever the problem I promise I'd know.

Yep know that feeling exactly

I look after myself and my own well being first. If I have people close to me that cause these frustrations I tend to let myself drift away from them, always making sure that if they need help, and they ask for it, that I am there for them.

Yes I know I am shit

I have PTSD, when I see the fear in the eyes of others, I know its time to leave.

And the only way out will be to die

i love causing chaos sometimes .. especially on the road

Yes... i know i am the problem... very aware of it....

Yes awareness is my strong point. That's why I am more positive than negative.

Yes

Reaching a healthy compromise with someone is the way to move forward positively

Admitting when wrong is important… somebody has to take the higher ground eh 😎

No