People & Family

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Are you scared of affection?

I am. I feel there's always an ulterior motive behind that. I've always known that people are nice in real life when they need something in return.

It's either out of pity or because they need something.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

Miram · 31-35, F

I am very avoidant person and have lot of walls up.

But when I trust you, I am very likely to be extremely affectionate and protective

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@Miram I do understand that.

BlueVeins · 22-25

@Miram that second part is part of what makes you adorable

Miram · 31-35, F

@BlueVeins <3

BlueVeins · 22-25

I tend to be skeptical of closeness and flattery, but not outright scared... well, maybe I'm scared of all of it in real life idk but not on here

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@BlueVeins I meant it in real life tbh not on this. But I get what you mean.

BlueVeins · 22-25

@Beatbox34 i mean for me, recieving affection irl is purely hypothetical so i can't be sure

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@BlueVeins I just keep my heart guarded. I can't trust people given the shit I've seen that people are capable of doing.

SW-User

Nah hugs give people superpower dude. If people are feeling down from pity or bc they need something a hug is a big help don’t you think 🤔

It’s a win win all round imo so hug and heal.

😎🦋

Carlisle · F

No I’ll hug the shit out of you right now

View 3 more replies »

Carlisle · F

@Beatbox34 I had affection issues and they went after I opened up to a professional. I got some intense therapy and it took a few years but they got to the root of it. Once they found the root they set about rebuilding my self esteem and confidence.
They did say that they will never be able to give me what I lost in terms of relationships growing up (mom and dad)
But that with everything I learnt from them I would be able to have fulfilling relationships. It’s difficult to open up maybe more so for males. But you were brave to open up here.
I would consider therapy it will help you heal

Carlisle · F

@Beatbox34 also sorry to hear about your dad treating you like that.
You sound like a kind person genuine person. You deserve that back.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@Carlisle I will try therapy for sure. I just have a bitter taste from all of that which caused me to have trust issues altogether. I want to change but everytime I do try that, I end up getting hurt.

Thank you for all of this. I mean that.

Manfredthemanic · 16-17, M

Not afraid of it, but I don't like it from just anyone.
I like it, but I'm very bad at asking for it.

AmbivalentFriability · 26-30

I'm not afraid, but only because I already know I am going to be owing something and am sort of prepared for it.

Actually, in situations where I am not expecting niceness or affection (beyond basic politeness), I am nervous and uncomfortable because I haven't had a chance to assess and mentally prepare for the situation. I usually just get aloof.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

Not really affection, more likely intimacy, closeness and commitment. When the person tries to get too close to me too soon and pushes their reality into my reality making me feel as if I owed them something and as if someone threw a cage on me or tied me to them. I like affection but I need my own space too.

SW-User

I'm thinking it's all good, but wonder how many would accept the real me.
It's harder online than daily life.

I refuse to believe nobody cares for the sake of caring.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I know how you feel.

Thing is, there are people who actually care. I don't know about the rest but I speak for myself. I love a person and stayed in her life to just bring her joy. I saw her pain and it affected me. As we speak, I let her walk into her marriage. I let her be happy because her happiness is what I wanted. I will always rant but do shit for people because that's how I am. It will hurt me but that's how I am. I don't do anything expecting them or anyone to return the favor.

Yes there surely are people like me. I can say it's not a lot but the number is reducing each day.

Fairydust · F

No, I love affection and giving it. I do understand how you feel, people can hurt you and leave you guarded 🥰

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@Fairydust It has indeed tainted my heart. I can give affection but I feel if someone is gonna do something for me, there's always a catch.

Fairydust · F

@Beatbox34 not everyone is like that, I’m sorry you feel used. 😞

SubstantialKick · 31-35, M

A little bit, maybe because I worry too much about what others think of me.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SubstantialKick Dude.

Honestly. You overthink a lot. Like I don't know you personally but you need to just calm.

You're a chill dude. You look good but you tend to judge yourself a lot unnecessarily.

Just my opinion. Hope you don't mind.

SubstantialKick · 31-35, M

@Beatbox34 I'd say you are definitely right...lol.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SubstantialKick Be confident about how you are. You're cool man.

Stay that way.

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

I’m not afraid of it but I’m not a very affectionate person at all

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@DeluxedEdition I'm not anymore either at least to humans.

Animals have a soft corner in my heart.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@DeluxedEdition This is why I said animals are better

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

AwakeningConfession221122

No. But have had no affection in over a year now.

SW-User

No. I just don’t know what to do with it.

LadyJ · F

No..i need more affection in my life

Viper · M

No, it's scared of me...

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@Viper Boogeyman of affection

bijouxbroussard · F

I’m at a point where I don’t quite trust it unless I’ve known the person for a long time.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@bijouxbroussard I really feel that.

I have friends in single digits in real life and I consider them friends as they've never used me. However, I've learned the cold pressed fact that people out there are only there to manipulate you to their own pleasure.

I've seen it happen with my immediate family and the so called friends I've had over the years.

V00doo

I'm scared of it being taken away from me once I get dependent on it

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@V00doo That is indeed painful. I've been there too so I know what that feels like

TheLordOfHell · 41-45

Neh not really

travelguy01 · 41-45, M

No I’m not.

Add a comment...