Are you scared of affection?

@Carlisle I'd probably run in fear.

@Beatbox34 ok then
Is it possible What you maybe afraid of
Is meeting someone like yourself
Who may run in fear?

@Carlisle I don't know like

If I were to put it from my perspective, it's weird. People tend to use me. It's hard to see the genuine trait in a person after watching all of them fake it. You get what I mean?

I'd like to trust. I give affection and care but it's scary from my perspective when someone does it. I've had my own dad try to manipulate me for his sick needs. Then friends. I dunno but that messed me up.

@Beatbox34 I had affection issues and they went after I opened up to a professional. I got some intense therapy and it took a few years but they got to the root of it. Once they found the root they set about rebuilding my self esteem and confidence.
They did say that they will never be able to give me what I lost in terms of relationships growing up (mom and dad)
But that with everything I learnt from them I would be able to have fulfilling relationships. It’s difficult to open up maybe more so for males. But you were brave to open up here.
I would consider therapy it will help you heal

@Beatbox34 also sorry to hear about your dad treating you like that.
You sound like a kind person genuine person. You deserve that back.

@Carlisle I will try therapy for sure. I just have a bitter taste from all of that which caused me to have trust issues altogether. I want to change but everytime I do try that, I end up getting hurt.

Thank you for all of this. I mean that.