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Freetime · 56-60, M
It's not easy and it won't happen overnight. You have to challenge your way of thinking. When you feel like someone is judging you, ask yourself "what if my assumption is wrong?" and "what evidence do I have that they are judging me?"
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sahi81 · 22-25, F
@Freetime some see leaving as wrong and some don't. Many seem jealous if i want to go to western or european country lol.
More people might judge me for my goals or culture can make it hard for me to remain child-free or try to date in my ways here, not impossible though.
Western or european countries are have more choices than try to fit into one box here.
More people might judge me for my goals or culture can make it hard for me to remain child-free or try to date in my ways here, not impossible though.
Western or european countries are have more choices than try to fit into one box here.
Mamapolo2016 · F
I think some of that is real, mostly because most groups try fiercely to resist change. If you represent change, you’re going to get push back.
Personally, I’ve experienced little of that, or I’ve experienced a lot and was oblivious to it. I truly don’t know.
But I do know that while it does happen, the only way to deal with it is to understand a few basic things.
1) The vast majority of people you meet hardly know you’re there. They are focused on their own stuff.
2) pick your battles, and your conflict strategy. A lot of the so-called Karens we see on video probably, at some point, have just cause on a grievance. They just express it in bad ways. They don’t say, “My dog Buffy was critically wounded by a skateboarder and now I hate other people with dogs, their dogs, and skateboarders.” They just throw skateboards into the river and try to coax unleashed dogs into traffic.
3) When possible, follow their rules, even if you don’t agree with them. I’m not suggesting you collaborate with wrong-doing, but if, in your world, people remove their shoes before entering somebody else’s living space, take off your shoes. By recognizing traditions that don’t hurt you, you will be less scary.
4) Other's opinion of you is none of your business. And vice versa. Learn to let it go and don’t internalize it as part of you. Nobody but you knows where you’re coming from or where you’re going, so they don’t have enough evidence for a judgment.
Personally, I’ve experienced little of that, or I’ve experienced a lot and was oblivious to it. I truly don’t know.
But I do know that while it does happen, the only way to deal with it is to understand a few basic things.
1) The vast majority of people you meet hardly know you’re there. They are focused on their own stuff.
2) pick your battles, and your conflict strategy. A lot of the so-called Karens we see on video probably, at some point, have just cause on a grievance. They just express it in bad ways. They don’t say, “My dog Buffy was critically wounded by a skateboarder and now I hate other people with dogs, their dogs, and skateboarders.” They just throw skateboards into the river and try to coax unleashed dogs into traffic.
3) When possible, follow their rules, even if you don’t agree with them. I’m not suggesting you collaborate with wrong-doing, but if, in your world, people remove their shoes before entering somebody else’s living space, take off your shoes. By recognizing traditions that don’t hurt you, you will be less scary.
4) Other's opinion of you is none of your business. And vice versa. Learn to let it go and don’t internalize it as part of you. Nobody but you knows where you’re coming from or where you’re going, so they don’t have enough evidence for a judgment.
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
Rationalize. Ask yourself why should their opinion of you matter to you and if and how can it harm or help you.
Fertilization · 36-40, F
Ignore
LeviS · M
smiler2012 · 61-69
@sahi81 🤔sometimes it is the case you feel you are getting a raw deal off people when you are trying too do the best for yourself and the right thing . if you are sure in your own mind you are doing the right thing well do not let them bother you. sometimes you need too follow your own convictions you may get it wrong time too time but that is the way of the world
sahi81 · 22-25, F
@smiler2012 I think when i do things wrong, they judge me harshly.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
I think it's a feeling that you are not at the center of your own universe. Like the center is somewhere else, where others gather to define who you are. Those who gather are important, and you are not one of them. And that may come with a need to explain yourself to some imaginary or real person, and hopefully that explanation will be accepted and you will be accepted in that gathering.
I think it helps to understand why one would have that feeling. There may be reasons. Like siblings that got all your parents attentions. Or negative attention from parents, family, etc. that made you feel like an outsider at a very early age. Find the reason.
I think it helps to understand why one would have that feeling. There may be reasons. Like siblings that got all your parents attentions. Or negative attention from parents, family, etc. that made you feel like an outsider at a very early age. Find the reason.
sahi81 · 22-25, F
@Heartlander i think people who judge me don't deserve me. I'm scared that judgements might turn into aggression or bullying someday. I'm trying to stay away from judgemental people and environments.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@sahi81 ahhh … you already know the reason. Can you just keep them at a distance?
sahi81 · 22-25, F
@Heartlander yea , might be possible in some cases and might not possible in other cases. But getting busy with work or other things to limit contact with such people might help and also being kind and confident in oneself might also help i believe.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
As you achieve small things for yourself, you will find what others think of you becomes less important. To the point where you know you are right and dont give a 💩 what anyone else thinks..😷
eyeno · M
👍🏻
Roundandroundwego · 61-69
Accept that others don't want you and that they will judge you harshly.
ABCDEF7 · M
[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlF-tO2YVPg&t=7s]
Vin53 · M
[media=https://youtu.be/YMDrTMnm1IE]
swirlie · 31-35, F
Don't ever run for the Office of the President of the USA.