How do you handle finding out something about your spouse or mate that you find despicable or...

For now, we openly discuss it and I tell them exactly how I feel if it's something heinous or beyond me being able to understand why it happened, then I say my goodbyes.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

That is a very difficult question to answer. In the first instance, there must have been factors, probably many, that attracted you to that person. The question poses, without stating, that there is a single issue that revolts you. Is that issue sufficient to blind you to the issue/s that attracted you to them?
If the answer is that their "disgusting or despicable" trait bothers you, then you should front them and talk about it. However, if that trait breaks the criminal laws, Walk away.

BeJeweled · 61-69, F

Depends on what they did.
I was with a liar years ago. But stayed with him for years. Had enough of his lying, drinking and dealing drugs then fled with my daughter. Never saw him again. He died years later from being homeless.

Gingerbreadspice · F

If it happened before we were with them then we must try to forget. If it happened while being with the person then it’s up to the individual.

4meAndyou · F

With the first ex, who married me right out of high school, I found out that he had concealed his true nature from me...deliberately. Our marriage only lasted two months, and then I left him and got a divorce.