O.....M....G....send help.
My boyfriend possesses a superpower no Marvel writer ever had the courage to publish: the ability to fart on command.
Not randomly.
Not accidentally.
Deliberately.
Strategically.
Straight faced will claim a spirit blessed his guts along the Lebanon-Syria border and Hezbollah during his deployment in order to lighten the darkest of times.
His favorite venue is the checkout line at Whole Foods, where he releases one with the timing of a concert pianist striking the final note of a symphony, then quietly steps aside to watch innocent shoppers question their life choices, dietary habits, and perhaps the very existence of God.
In any given hood...they call it "stank" for good reason.
I've come to realize true evil isn't loud or dramatic.
Sometimes it wears a pleasant smile, carries reusable grocery bags, and weaponizes digestive confidence in the organic produce section.
🍑💨
Not randomly.
Not accidentally.
Deliberately.
Strategically.
Straight faced will claim a spirit blessed his guts along the Lebanon-Syria border and Hezbollah during his deployment in order to lighten the darkest of times.
His favorite venue is the checkout line at Whole Foods, where he releases one with the timing of a concert pianist striking the final note of a symphony, then quietly steps aside to watch innocent shoppers question their life choices, dietary habits, and perhaps the very existence of God.
In any given hood...they call it "stank" for good reason.
I've come to realize true evil isn't loud or dramatic.
Sometimes it wears a pleasant smile, carries reusable grocery bags, and weaponizes digestive confidence in the organic produce section.
🍑💨
