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Grandpa doesn’t want to see grandkids because of ADHD 😭 Advice?

Had a family member tell me my Dad (grandpa) and his wife, disclosed that the reason he doesn’t see our kids is because they are too hyperactive. They both have mild to moderate ADHD. I really don’t think they’re that hard and are fun to spend time with, and pretty well behaved just busy and talkative.

My oldest is almost 8 and my dad has seen her briefly 4 times for less than a couple hours each and my son twice, they dont know them.
I have severe ADHD and my dad has expressed many times I was a hard child. I believe he and my brothers have put a label on my kids.

It really breaks my heart so much. Im just having trouble processing.

How do I proceed? My first instinct is to protect them from this weird toxic thinking and stop exposing them to that kind if rejection and abandonment 😭 any advice? 💔 is this too black and white or thinking? Or is it valid?

I have a hard timee understanding I guess why a family member would use that as an excuse. To me it seems like thats what it is. Ive cried alot. My kids don’t feel THAT unbearable to me, or other relatives who they spend copious amounts if time with.

Im starting to think maybe my dad isnt emotionally fit to be a grandpa and i should protect my kids self esteem.

Abandonment can have profound effects on children, I actually know first hand… from my dad who has been married 3 times and started new families and he didn’t talk to me many times for years but always came back into my life when i was doing well.

It’s a lot to process. Any advice, similar stories or encouragement would mean so much to me.

Lots of love healing and joy to my fellow ADHDers/parents
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in10RjFox · M
That's straight out ostracism by the oldies. I have faced such situation as well but I just let my children be what they are and instead warned my parents and other oldies to shut up. I can understand your feelings but just think all others in your family are dead and focus on the future of your children.

The elders are nasty as they will try to discipline or program your child their way in the name of love. Do understand that their value systems are old school and they are simply jealous that new generation enjoys a lot of comfort which they did not have

And please stop classify your children as ADHD etc. and treating them differently. This is another medical scam to make you think that your children are abnormal.

Just let them be and instead focus on finding them more friends in their school and neighbourhood. Get and be of support to other parents.
daydeeo · 61-69, M
@in10RjFox And please stop classify your children as ADHD etc. and treating them differently. This is another medical scam to make you think that your children are abnormal
Agree with this 100%!