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Grandpa doesn’t want to see grandkids because of ADHD 😭 Advice?

Had a family member tell me my Dad (grandpa) and his wife, disclosed that the reason he doesn’t see our kids is because they are too hyperactive. They both have mild to moderate ADHD. I really don’t think they’re that hard and are fun to spend time with, and pretty well behaved just busy and talkative.

My oldest is almost 8 and my dad has seen her briefly 4 times for less than a couple hours each and my son twice, they dont know them.
I have severe ADHD and my dad has expressed many times I was a hard child. I believe he and my brothers have put a label on my kids.

It really breaks my heart so much. Im just having trouble processing.

How do I proceed? My first instinct is to protect them from this weird toxic thinking and stop exposing them to that kind if rejection and abandonment 😭 any advice? 💔 is this too black and white or thinking? Or is it valid?

I have a hard timee understanding I guess why a family member would use that as an excuse. To me it seems like thats what it is. Ive cried alot. My kids don’t feel THAT unbearable to me, or other relatives who they spend copious amounts if time with.

Im starting to think maybe my dad isnt emotionally fit to be a grandpa and i should protect my kids self esteem.

Abandonment can have profound effects on children, I actually know first hand… from my dad who has been married 3 times and started new families and he didn’t talk to me many times for years but always came back into my life when i was doing well.

It’s a lot to process. Any advice, similar stories or encouragement would mean so much to me.

Lots of love healing and joy to my fellow ADHDers/parents
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Heartlander · 80-89, M
This may say more about your dad than about your kids. It may be a prelude to dementia. As we get older and older, it's more and more difficult to keep up with the world around us, so we try to slow it down or stop it..

My step-mom went through that, to the point where even moving a chair from where it was supposed to be sent her into a rage.

It may help to explain to your kids about it being an issue with your dad, and see what the can do to ease your dad through this. It may get worse and maybe their gift of empathy can help your dad hold in to life a bit longer.