Please comment I need advice

Do you know you can make someone completely miserable by demanding the relationship fit your idea of what a committed relationship should be, demanding your own way and not accepting that people have to be who they are and do what makes them happy.

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Punches · 46-50, F

Some people see their lover as a project. Like they want to change everything about their lover. And yes it is miserable being with such a person. Last person I tried to date was trying to flip my entire existence upside down. We did not last.

Blubrown76 · F

@Punches how do I keep that in check, because I didn’t even realize it until just now

Punches · 46-50, F

@Blubrown76 I am guessing your partner is trying to change you then?
Basically you are dealing with a manipulative person, it is best to break away asap.

At first manipulators seem alright but then slowly they start trying to micro-manage you. You do not even notice for a while. But then one day you start to notice, which is where you are now. That is good.

Even if you do talk to him or her about it, they might back off for a bit but soon will be back to their old tricks, albeit slowly.

Blubrown76 · F

@Punches No I’m the selfish shit, I don’t want to try and force what I want on anyone, like monogamy or anything else for that matter, relationships involve mutual compromise

Blubrown76 · F

@Blubrown76 I hate I’ve done it more than once and made everybody miserable and couldn’t figure out why

Punches · 46-50, F

@Blubrown76 Your partner is saying you are selfish? OR, are you trying to change your partner?

Either way, people need to accept others as they come. Humans are not objects like houses or gardens that can just be redone like no big deal.

Blubrown76 · F

@Punches I hate that I’ve done that screamed and pitched a fit because I wasn’t getting the behavior I demanded, can you help me safeguard from doing it again?

Punches · 46-50, F

@Blubrown76 Hmm, well, there isn't much I can really do.
You might just have to find a partner who is willing to put up with it because manipulators do not change.

Blubrown76 · F

@Punches I’m not out to take advantage and trust me I don’t get my way, but I don’t want to be a damn brat I can’t put up with brats or manipulating men.

Punches · 46-50, F

@Blubrown76 I am no therapist. I would not know what to advise.

With mental health, I am a novice hobbyist at best, I am not qualified to know how to help someone with this type of issue.

Ferric67 · M

@Blubrown76 you have two options
Either learn to becoming accepting
Or
Break it off and find the type of partner you need/want/seek