If your child wanted to live in a certain place, but you knew it would be bad for them in the long run, and this place made you miserable…
Would you stay for them? Seek stability elsewhere?
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SW-User
@SW-User You are the Momma and you know better then anyone what is best for your son
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@SW-User I don’t want to hurt him at all ever 💔
SW-User
@RebelFox sometimes we have to do what we think is right ,even if it hurts ...
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
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RebelFox · 36-40, F
@Torsten I see. That is a lot to walk away from and honestly it’s hard when you don’t have those things.
I think he remembers how it used to be when we had family and friends. When I wasn’t exhausted and busy all the time. I think he wants to stay in that feeling. I don’t blame him, after living in a van, I know he wants stability. But I can’t achieve that here. I’ve tried so hard I’m burnt out. We have no one. There’s nothing for kids to do here. It’s busy and gentrified. I know I could start something better for us elsewhere. I have the means and the will. I’m only holding off for him. But then see how sad he is and I can’t change that here. I know I’m gonna hurt him, but we can’t live here. It’s destroying me. I don’t want to be selfish, but also, if I don’t get my head straight I’m afraid of not being a good mom.
I think he remembers how it used to be when we had family and friends. When I wasn’t exhausted and busy all the time. I think he wants to stay in that feeling. I don’t blame him, after living in a van, I know he wants stability. But I can’t achieve that here. I’ve tried so hard I’m burnt out. We have no one. There’s nothing for kids to do here. It’s busy and gentrified. I know I could start something better for us elsewhere. I have the means and the will. I’m only holding off for him. But then see how sad he is and I can’t change that here. I know I’m gonna hurt him, but we can’t live here. It’s destroying me. I don’t want to be selfish, but also, if I don’t get my head straight I’m afraid of not being a good mom.
Torsten · 36-40, M
@RebelFox damn sorry to hear that. What if you say went on what you call a holiday to him to a place you feel is much better suited and during that time show him how much better things could be for you both there? If he is not happy where you are now and neither are you, what do you have to lose.
I am sure it will be hard but you sounds like you certainly want the best for you both and You really should think of yourself more also. I know thats hypocritical of me to say after what I wrote about myself but i go for holidays back to my real home whenever I can to keep myself from getting burnt out here and that helps.
I am sure it will be hard but you sounds like you certainly want the best for you both and You really should think of yourself more also. I know thats hypocritical of me to say after what I wrote about myself but i go for holidays back to my real home whenever I can to keep myself from getting burnt out here and that helps.
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Rhode57 · 56-60, M
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@aaaabbbb yeah I’m ready for that. Here is definitely not the best I can do for him, it’s not possible. Won’t be any easier to start over, but I hope it’s better for him. I worry about isolating us. He’s much more extroverted than I am, I don’t want to hinder his exploration in the process of my own.
WhateverWorks · 36-40
It’s really not one or the other. I would do whatever it took to create foundational stability, good health (emotional, physical, mental) and opportunities for them, but if the parent isn’t working on establishing foundational stability, good health (emotional, physical, mental) and opportunities for themselves then.. they can’t offer to the child what they don’t have. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m a pretty strong believer my kiddo’s wellbeing comes first and it’s my task to find/create my happiness within that.
I’m a pretty strong believer my kiddo’s wellbeing comes first and it’s my task to find/create my happiness within that.
JackJames · M
I’ve seen people move from places that their kids loved because it was better for the family as a whole. A kid thinks they know what is best for them and in some ways they’re right. However, just because they might be right doesn’t make you wrong. There might be a few things that might help them but there might be significantly more that could hurt them.
Today's generation won't listen, even if it is in their well-being.
Be their friend, accompany them for a while in that new place till they either realise the fact or get familiar with the hardships they need to face in the long run, provided they continue.
Never enforce upon them, doesn't work.
Be their friend, accompany them for a while in that new place till they either realise the fact or get familiar with the hardships they need to face in the long run, provided they continue.
Never enforce upon them, doesn't work.
Firegod74 · 46-50, M
Well if "this child" is your child and wants to stay where you are even though you hate it... could you possibly move just a little bit and change the demographic enough to may you less uncomfortable?
I havent been to that area before. I dont know how much variation there is.
I havent been to that area before. I dont know how much variation there is.
onewithshoes · 22-25, F
Practical considerations such as the cost and availability of housing, and a breadwinner's place of employment should normally outweigh the whims of a child.
Jimmy2016 · 61-69, M
🤔.............You need to move to AZ...........
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
TheLordOfHell · 41-45