Need some advice please

You said I don't want to make up with him, I just need a hug from [i]anyone[/i] right now. What you said was an honest feeling but if you hug him now wouldn't it be like a lie? I wouldn't do it unless you felt it because that's like leading him on and dishonest. But there's a flipside to that coin... it's also a place to start. He's probably hurting pretty bad right now, as well, and I bet he would love a hug. So in that case, I see nothing wrong with it. I think he would appreciate the first move. There's no room for pride here. Forgiveness is such a healing thing. And God says to forgive.

Communication is key. It's not too late. I think the marriage is savable, myself, but it will take both of you working at it. I hope you'll think about counseling for both of you together. And if he won't go, then I think you should go and get a different perspective on what you could do to improve this situation. Sometimes we can't see clearly when we're right in the middle of things and other ideas can be a plus. I can think of many things you could do to restore your marriage and light that fire again. This is a matter that needs to be thought through very carefully, because it's not only you two that would be divorcing, this wouldn't include how it affects both of your families and children and so many more things.

Relationship problems are hardly a rarity that have resulted in divorce, broken homes, mental issues, children growing up with self esteem problems and more. All are affected in one way or another, and not just for a few days, but for years to come. It changes everything.

Satan’s job has always been to steal to kill and destroy and distorting the image of what marriage really is. Most marriage vows made between couples are just meaningless or not taken with the seriousness that they deserve. The good news is that Jesus can restore your marriage and every area of your life.

[i]Fireproof[/i] may be one of the best movies I could recommend to you. This movie tells the story of a young couple, Caleb and Catherine that are on the verge of a divorce after a number of years of marriage. Caleb seems so absorbed in his career as a fireman and selfish ambitions that he neglects to take good care of Catherine.

Catherine on the other hand, spends a lot of time at her job as well and puts herself in a position of compromise in the midst of their marital problems. Their marriage seems headed towards divorce as they hit a point of no return. That is until Caleb’s dad intercepts and takes his son Caleb through a journey that could transform their marriage.

Do you find yourself in a similar position today? A lot of relationship questions may be running through your mind to which you have no answer to. The answers to those questions are found in the Word of God. A relationship or marriage centred on God will survive any fire or storm that comes its way.

This is a movie that I highly recommend because it will change your life. I hope1 you will watch the whole movie. Healthy relationships are still possible in this crazy world that we live in today even though the enemy has lied to us to cause to think otherwise. Remember his main objective is to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came to give you life in abundance. I believe it is worth watching this movie. In what little time it takes to watch this movie, the effects could change your whole life for the better, so I think it's well worth your time. I believe you can make your marriage so happy again. I believe you can rekindle that spark that made you want to marry each other in the first place. Nothing is impossible with God. You can watch it on Netflix. It has saved many a marriage, I know that.

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I think you have answered your own question: "..I have zero trust left anymore.."

If that is true (and only you can answer that), then hugging him right now will leave you feeling empty and wondering why you even did it. I wouldn't recommend doing that to yourself.

Do you think you'd both be open to therapy? It sounds like there's a communication breakdown and some unfulfilled needs on both sides.

You seem to not have much drive to initiate change or at least a conversation that would lead you there.

If last night was the first time he yelled at you, I would try to muster some forgiveness and compassion. Everyone has weak moments, this may have been one of his. If he's yelling at you frequently, you are being abused and that would absolutely explain you lack of drive to make change.

First and foremost though, if you're not in an active fight, DEFINITELY ask for that hug and attempt reconnecting.

Marriage is not easy. There will be peaks and valleys. If no one is getting hit or otherwise abused I would say you should work on it. Maybe get some counseling.

Thanks for BC. 🤗👍 You can do this!

By now I suppose you have decided whether to ask for that hug or not!

Unless he has been abusive, I think you are giving up on your marriage too quickly. Things do get rocky in many marriages. But the problems you are facing might not be better with anyone else. I don't know your situation, but perhaps you can still give your marriage a chance.

Just give him that hug and tell him how much you love him unless you truly don’t trust him and think he’s cheating than it’s time to end things because it prob won’t last.. trust issues are hard to fix once they happen.

A wise man once asked this important question. Are you stuck or do you want to be there? Do you want a failed marriage or do you want a healthy marriage? Either can happen. What do you want?

hes familiar even if it doesnt make either of you happy anymore. we dont have enough context to tell you what to do,i believe deep down you have the answer yourself though

You both could probably use a hug. ☹️🤗
Not sure what the right thing to do is, sorry. :(

Every marriage has its trials. Do you have children? How long have you been married?

Well answer this do you want to end this? Only you can answer that if the light is still on then their is hope so try one last time what do you have to lose but you have everything to win if the spark is their then you own it to the relationship to fight.

really you need too sit down together and talk and try and work this out and try and iron out your problems . if you do not things are going too get more intolerant and an unbearable atmosphere [munchingonspaghetti]

The last thing to go in a relationship is respect because once that’s gone the relationship is over. Consider that.

The occasional fight is expected in any marriage. Suggest make up sex to him.

You know the issue is you’re having doubts about him right now. You guys fix that first.

If it’s time to let go, do you think his hug will help?

Hug yourself. You seem pretty good at it.

Do you have kids?

Ya. Hug

Hug him

If you made an effort and he stills treats you badly then it's time to leave and know your worth

Just say lets talk and get this over with without fighting and figure a solution to our problems as to we stay separate or together but please lets talk peacefully