How to cope with having a crazy family?

I don't know the issues with which you are dealing, but I had certain family members who were narcissistic and toxic. I found that distance and never answering my phone didn't even help. Because they could travel...and they left messages with my son that were toxic and painful and he didn't know enough not to repeat them.

Get out. Get out as soon as humanly possible, and keep them at an immense distance if you can. Look for jobs that require travel. Move to the other side of the country.