Any life coaches..single mom here day 5.

I was in a abusive marriage for 7 years with two young boys, 3 and 1. I currently do have a good job but I am going to have to downgrade to a smaller home. On Wednesday my husband was arrested. All of this was put on me. I need someone to hold my hand and walk me thru this. I'm sooo lost and depressed by this all. I am getting my taxes soon so money soon won't be an issue. Has any one been through this? What steps did u take?

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Majorlatency · M

I would suggest you remove his mugshot from SW.. While it augments your story it will become a problem, you say he was arrested, but has not been proven guilty of his charges.. This could be consider malicious and his lawyers could use this against you...

Imani283 · 41-45, F

@Majorlatency oh wow okay. I just wanted to express that I'm in some real mess and I'm not a troll. I will remove it. Thanka

Majorlatency · M

@Imani283 Well it also has your family name etc.. You could end up being trolled...

puck61

If you want to make it work with your husband, it looks like he might have to mature a little more. Take an inventory.
You have a good job.
You have a home.
(anything else on the plus side?)

You have dependents and you may have to find cheaper housing
Your husbands in jail for childish behavior
(anything else on the minus side?)

Write down some objectives and priorities and then write down obstacles to achieving those objectives. Luckily you don't have homelessness breathing down your neck, so it's not all that bad.

Mostly you need to have a heart to heart with your husband.

Imani283 · 41-45, F

@puck61 thats some great advice I need to get a good notebook. When I had no one to turn to I always had a journal. Until my hubby took it away. Writing was my let out. Anyone going through similar controlling behavior those aren't good signs

puck61

@Imani283 You mean the juvenile delinquent in jail is the abuser that you speak of? Why is he your husband? I thought you were talking about a previous relationship. Drop the ball and chain and make sure the jail bird pays child support. All you have to do is get on Welfare. They will make sure he is held accountable for his sperm. I gather you're not the type to stay on welfare, but getting on welfare is a sure way of garnishing the juvenile delinquents checks.

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Shayla · F

I went through something similar when my kids were that age. My ex wasn't arrested, but I left him after he was abusive towards the kids.

Imani283 · 41-45, F

@Shayla can I message you please I have no friends. no one to turn to. I'm a wreck but I'm still being strong for these boys. I am the only thing they have

Shayla · F

@Imani283 Of course.

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hlpflwthat · M

I see 5 other mugshots of your husband. Haven't you pretty much been bearing the burden all along? I'm having a little difficulty aligning his imprisonment with your sons' ages.

Imani283 · 41-45, F

@hlpflwthat I removed his mugshot someone suggested. He was just arrested Tuesday or Wednesday.i have been bearing everything on my own. The reason why I brought my kids ages should I tell them where their dad is? It's ALOT I'm sorry if ure confused about my posting. I'm going thru ALOT with no one to turn to except here.. I'm only seeking advice

hlpflwthat · M

@Imani283 Solid advice. I've left you a note.

SW-User

If he was so abusive, why didn't you leave him early?

Shayla · F

@SW-User It's not that easy. Most abusers start with small minor things. They slowly isolate their victims, which makes it harder for the victim to leave.

SW-User

@Shayla :/

Imani283 · 41-45, F

Exactly what the people said. It isn't that easy. They are very good manipulations

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